Ryan Theriot Is Fast, But What's The Deal With All The Baserunning Gaffes?

Everyone who reads this site knows that I love Ryan Theriot. The guy wants to punch DeRosa in the face, thinks he could kick Fontenot's ass and has 9 pitches in his arsenal. The only problem is that sometimes I want to punch HIM in the face. After Theriot was thrown out at third on Sunday night, I decided to do a little "research". By research I mean I googled "Ryan Theriot Caught Stealing". Well I found something. It is an extensive list of not only caught stealing, but other baserunning gaffes of his this year. Turns out over at Wrigleyville23.com they have come up with a stat for Theriot being an idiot on the bases. They call it TOOTBLAN. TOOTBLAN stands for Thrown Out On The Basepaths Like A Nincompoop. They actually list every single one of Theriot's TOOTBLANs this season. While I must admit the name is a little lame sounding, I do like the theory behind it. I am so sick of his TOOTBLANS. Theriot continues to try to stretch things out on the bases and continues to cost his team outs. Yes his OBP is near .400, but in terms of the runs he's creating, he has 19 TOOTBLANs! 19! That means for every 11 times he gets on base, he has roughly 1 TOOTBLAN. Unacceptable.

**Feel free to check my math on the ratio, but I believe that's roughly correct.

Today's Links

Someone at Bleed Cubbie Blue has compiled a list of all the things the Cubs are great at this year. Take a look. They are pretty freakin' sweet.

Roundup of the Sox weekend. Good series.

Thoughts on the Ben Gordon situation. Interesting comparisons to Eddy Curry and Jamal Crawford.

Apparently people are starting to call for Caleb Hanie to be given a shot at QB for the Bears. And I'm not just talking about annoying sports writers like Rick Morrisey. Some fans seem to think it might not be such a bad idea.

Dong Dong is taking the trampoline by storm. Yeah, thats his name. You know the guys over at Luols Dong are loving it.

11 athletic performances that rival Michael Phelps 8 Golds.

White Sox are all alone in first. Big win last night. Paulie is hitting .302/.467/.558 (BA/OBP/SLG) in August. That is going to be a major factor going forward.

The Worst Sports Times of the Year

For the past month or so I have been thankful for a couple things in my life as a sports fan. The first is that it is an Olympic year. The Olympics are amazing and this year with Phelps and the USA Basketball team have made them an event that has not disappointed. The second thing is that Chicago baseball has been hot this year. There have been way too many years where at this point in the calender the season was pretty much over. If it wasn't for those two main things(and WNBA, ouch) this can be a really difficult time of the year as a sports fan. I mean, look at how much coverage that garbage-ass Brett Favre story got. Sometimes there is just less going on.

In honor of my appreciation here we go with my top 3 worst times of year for sports fans:

#3: Pretty Much All of July . This time of year is pretty brutal and everyone knows why. All you got is baseball(and WNBA, ergh.) At the beginning of the baseball season everyone has hope and it so exciting to see all the new parts of your team and blah blah blah. Around July that freshness wears off. A whole mess of guys get hurt and bunch of teams realize they just don't have a shot. There is a reason they call these the dog days of summer. Not to mention the fact that the day after the All-Star game is horrendous, because you have absolutely nothing.

#2: The Two Weeks Between the NFL Conference Championship Game and the Super Bowl. This is the time of the year when the NBA and College Basketball are not that great compared to the NFL playoffs. Also during this time of year you get to the point where there is only one game left before there is no more football for like 7 months and that one game is most likely going to be between two teams you don't really care about. Oh and if you weren't interested in those two teams? Well you are going to hear every possible story line about them, from the ingredients to Gilbert Brown's FatBurger to Matt Cassel's life staring at Tom Brady's girlfriend's ass. Better hope you win some money on the big game.

That last note leads me to number one........

#1: The DayAfter Your Sports Betting Account has hit Zero/The Day You Get Eliminated From Your Fantasy League. For a sports fan it doesn't get much worse than this. We all know it hurts when your team gets eliminated, but there is something about losing sports bets/fantasy that takes that pain to a different level. First off the fact that you have lost money sucks infinite amounts. Not to mention your loss of reputation and pride as a sports fan that comes as a result of your actions. When it comes down to it you don't have control over whether or not Ben Gordon takes a 30-foot fadeaway at the buzzer or Octavio Dotel gives up back-to-back jacks in the 8th. However with sports bets/fantasy, there is no one to blame but yourself. Whether or not things went the way they should have that comes back to the decisions you made as a "sports expert." You try and watch games on this day and it just isn't the same. You try to talk to your friends about the games and they keep referencing how many TD's someone had for them or the fact that the Suns have hit the over in seven straight games.

Well I guess you can always re-up your account or start researching the draft-kit for the sport that is right around the corner.

Any other suggestions are welcome.....

Kyle Orton Will Start, Harmony Restored In Bourbonnais

Kyle Orton is the opening day starter. What a long, strange trip it's been. Now that we have a Bona Fide number one guy, we can rest easy about the offense.

It Ain't The Shoes, It's The Man

Michael Jordan was always associated with his Nikes. This picture proves that it was never the shoes. Here's Mikey in some Converse shoes doing his thing:

The shoes do not make the man, especially when the man is arguably God. (Apologies to the real God).

Big Ten Preview: Indiana

College football season is approaching and for the next couple of weeks I'll be giving you some quick previews of the Big Ten. All ten....ummm eleven teams will be featured. Today we have the Indiana Hoosiers.

Things won't get easier in Bloomington this year after the emotional ride the Hoosiers took last season. Indiana dealt with the loss of head coach Terry Hoeppner, then worked their way to a 7-6 record and a bowl appearance for the first time in 13 years.

This year, Indiana deals with a loss not nearly as tragic, but one that will likely keep them out of a bowl game: wide receiver James Hardy. Hardy hauled in the second most touchdown passes in all of college football last season. Another standout, quarterback Kellen Lewis, was suspended for the spring and parts of summer workouts for violating team rules.

Head coach Bill Lynch will need Lewis to play up to his capabilities as a star dual-threat quarterback, but will also need some new faces to step up offensively. Andrew Means and Ray Fisher look like candidates to step up at wideout, while Indiana has a decent platoon of running backs. Replacing three on the offensive line will be tough, but Lewis makes this offense dangerous.

Defensively, Indiana isn't strong, but boasts some standout players. Defensive end Greg Middleton led the country in sacks last season and will look to build on it this year. Safety is also a position of strength, with Nick Polk and Austin Thomas returning. The safeties will need to be on top of things though, as there will be two new starters at the corners.

Central Michigan is the toughest team on the non-conference schedule, so with due respect to the Chips, that's an easy slate. Also, Indiana misses Michigan and Ohio State this year, so despite the questions, there is still hope for a second straight bowl bid.

Team USA Thinks Gay People Are Un-American

Our old friend John Amaechi, the only openly gay player in the NBA, is in Beijing covering the Olympics. Apparently, Team USA players and Coaches are not thrilled to see him. Imagine that (after his boook bashed many NBA players generally and specifically):

There's a former NBA player who had a 6.2 career scoring average
broadcasting from the Olympics.Ordinarily, that wouldn't mean much. But that
player's name is John Amaechi, who released the book "Man in the Middle,'' last
year, becoming the first player who was at one time was associated with the NBA
to come out as being gay.Amaechi is at the Olympics, serving as a basketball
analyst for his homeland Great Britain's BBC. His appearance has caught some in
the NBA establishment by surprise."It's been tense to say the least,'' Amaechi
said when I ran into him in a lunch line about what it's been like being seeing
some Team USA players and coaches.Amaechi said players have turned away from
him, and there remains a "lot of tension.'' He mentioned seeing Lakers star Kobe
Bryant."I ran into Kobe, and he was surprised to see me,'' Amaechi said. "It
didn't go well.''Ameachi, who played for Cleveland, Orlando and Utah in 1995-96
and from 1999-2003, has been writing about his experiences at the Olympics in
his blog www.beijinglegacyblog.com."I had passed some of the coaches in the MPC
(Main Press Center) the day before, catching only the trailing end a statement
of the coach who saw me, "... isn't that Amaechi? What the hell is he doing
(here),''' Amaechi writes in his blog. "I was a little irritated. I couldn't
help but wonder if that was the way they would have reacted to another former
NBA player they recognized passing shoulder to shoulder a world away. Even an
average one.''

Score one for Jerry Sloan I guess. (Amaechi bashed Sloan as a gay-hater in his book)

Bad News Bears - Chicago's NFL Team's Hopes Dashed Yet Again

Thanks to G.D. for finding this little story:

(AP - Chicago) As the Chicago Bears broke camp Friday, the once-proud
but increasingly fragile organization was dealt another blow to its
psyche. After Cedric Benson's decision to create his own "Don't Tase
Me Bro" moment, the signing of Rex Grossman to a one-year contract,
the bolstering of the receivers corp with Marty Booker (and all of his
1 TDs last year), and Jerry Angelo's ill-advised belief that arthritic
backs should be rewarded through the draft and contract extensions
(See Williams, C. and Urlacher, B.) the Bears' offense was in need of
a boost heading into the organization's 89th professional season.
Anonymous sources in the organization, confirmed that higher ups had
hoped to inject some enthusiasm into its fan base with the impending
signing of a little-known prospect from Northern Georgia.

In an attempt to replace the quick-to-spasm Chris Williams and avoid
crawling back into Fred "The Human Turnstile" Miller's waiting arms
(which is actually impossible, since he'd just let you blow right past
him), the Bears were placing the finishing touches on a compelling
contract offer to the colossal offensive tackle prospect from the
foothills of Appalachia, known to friends jokingly as "Big Foot".
Measuring 7'-7" and weighing in at over 500 pounds, the young talent
who some scouts joked must be "half-man, half-ape" has intrigued many
over the years, but scared off most teams with the combination of a
complete lack of schooling, prior football experience, command of the
English language and the inability to find him as he was rumored to
live with other family members in the remote forests of Northern
Georgia.

With the team vacating their dorm rooms at Olivet Nazarene University
and packing for Seattle, news broke across the news wires informing
the Bears organization that the prospect had been found dead. Friends
and family members were unavailable for comment as they appeared to
retreat deeper into the backwoods in a primitive grieving process. A
recently wounded police officer and a prison guard were the first two
humans to find the franchise offensive tackle's body. While rumors of
the cause of death centered around an enlarged heart, officials
awaited the autopsy results from the Dr. James Andrews of Autopsies,
"The Real Bigfoot Hunter", Tom Biscardi.


Neither the deceased's parents nor Jerry Angelo were available for comment.

Today's Links

• Surprise heroes in the AL? Carlos Quentin and Alexei Ramirez are making a strong case. Sox win series in Oak-Town.
• Cubs win series in Florida, finally. Umm, have you ever heard of a rain delay when its not raining?
• Grossman and Orton both looked shitty, but Grossman looked shittier I guess? So Orton might start the season as the Bears QB.
• Looks like the NFL season might go from 16 games to 17 or 18. Interesting. I love the idea, but the will the Players Union go with it?
• Who names their kid "Wrigley Fields"? Some moron from Lockport I guess.
• I know this is old news for most people by now, but Phelps is the greatest Olympian ever. 8 golds in one olympics. Greatest athlete of all time? Maybe.
• Kane County Cougars promotion: If they hit a grand slam in the 6th, someone wins $10,000. Lo and behold! GS in the 6th. Sweet.

Today's Links

• An interesting letter from Vinny Del Negro. Sort of stupid and sappy, but 'll take anything I can on this guy, since there's no real history of this guy out there. There is this funny Onion article about VDN though.
• You are loving Danks if you are a Sox fan right now. Sox win again. Twins keep pace.
• Cubs lost, but they had to eventually. 9-game road streak snapped.
• Sure the Bears won an overtime preseason thriller, but there was a lot to be concerned about on both sides of the ball. (Update thanks to Weiny: Bears actually lost. I clearly tuned out after the second quarter. My bad.)
  

Berto Center Brawl--The Newest Chapter In The "Ben Gordon Thinks He Is God Up In Here" Saga

Ben Gordon is at it again. After being offered well more than he's worth last summer, (or arguably exactly what he's worth, depending on your interpretation of the restricted free agent market these days) and with a supposed offer of 6 years-58 million on the table this summer, Ben has decided he will not take the qualifying offer. Before I go to far into this, I just want to discuss something. Is there actually a 58 million dollar deal on the table? My understanding is that 58 over 6 is the max deal the Bulls can offer and still stay under the cap, but that doesn't mean they have offered it.
Anyways, now Ben says he will not take the qualifying offer. In fact, he doesn't think he will be playing for the Bulls again period. The ultimatum and ensuing analysis from the Tribune:

"I'm definitely not taking [the qualifiying offer]," Gordon said Friday night at a charity function in New York. "I've already expressed that to them. I mean, that's not an option."

Gordon also offered hollow ultimatums about playing his last game for the Bulls since, as a restricted free agent, he can't force a sign-and-trade. The Bulls' leading scorer for the last three seasons could choose to sign in Europe or sit out a season.

Ok, so Ben is saying he will sit out a season or play in Europe instead of playing here. He will not take 6.4 million dollars to play for the 08-09 season. Now that I can understand, but not taking the 6 year deal seems ludicrous to me. I just don't understand what his agent is telling him. I'm not familiar with the 2009 free agent market, and maybe he has a chance of cashing in more than 9 million a year then, but it isn't then. Its now. The circumstances then will be different. I'm not sure how it works, and NBA teams are retarded with contracts sometimes, but an owner is not going to pay more than 9 million for someone who just sat out a season. Even if he plays in Europe, he isn't going to raise his value here by doing that. I know the Euro leagues have gotten some press lately, but no one over here actually pays attention to them. To get a big contract in the NBA, you can't just be above average, you need to sell tickets too.

Now if he is able to force a sign-and-trade, that might be good for all parties, but my understanding is that we would have to take on similar contracts to what we send out. If BG gets his 12 million a year, we would have to take back at minimum 10 million for 08-09. I don't see Reinsdorf/Paxson wanting to do that.

Its a showdown. Don't worry, these kinds of things have not proven a distraction for the young Bulls in the past. Oh wait, yeah they have. Dammnit.

Today's Links

• Jannero Pargo to Europe now too? Maybe LeBron will be next...
• Grossman took a vacation to Tampa for intensive training in July. Good for him.
• Holy Cow! Daryle Ward is the man. Cubs win in comeback victory. Kerry had his first save since the blister too. He threw too many pitches but got it done.
• Another Spanish National Team photo that's insensitive to China? Nobody gives a shit about the tennis team though.
• Sox lose. Shaky bullpen looks even shakier. Twins win to pull even with Sox.
• Wilbon sang the 7th inning stretch at Wrigley this week. Journalistic integrity issues with him being a fan and not being objective? I don't have any, but apparently there is some question.
• PHELPS!!! It was a photo finish, but Phelps is the man. 7 golds down. 1 to go.
  

Rosenbloom Scolds Lilly, Has Nothing Nice to Say About the Cubs

You throw at the head of a team's home-run leader and 199 trillion dollar man, you're going to get some payback. And when everyone thinks about the enforcer to get the job done, one man comes to mind:

That's right. Theodore. Steve Rosenbloom, for one, does not welcome our new overlord of badassery, and thinks there is a time and a place for such shenanigans.

Revenge should've been saved for next season. You don't risk suspension when you're pitching for a team fighting for a division title and home-field advantage for three weeks in October. Escobar, or even Chipper Jones, didn't need to be hit that badly Thursday night.

Oh, he needed to be hit, and according to Jeff Francoeur, Lilly was the man for the job.

"Lilly threw at Edgar's head last year, he threw over [Brian McCann's] head in Chicago, and all of a sudden he's going to hit Escobar,"

Lilly did his job last night. He battled through a rough outting for the win and picked the right time and method to stand up for his teammate. Hopefully Big Z is satisfied with the revenge and doesn't take out any aggression on Florida tonight by hitting a few batters, or eating a bat boy.

Rosenbloom meanwhile, went on to rip on Soriano, Harden (wtf), Howry, and just the Cubs in general. Who's next?

Best Acquisition(s) In The Majors This Year? The Mutant Two-Headed Monster "Reedmonds" Of Course

There have been a lot of big acquisitions this year that have had huge impacts on their respective teams. According to the Sun-Times, however, only one has risen above all the rest:

"While national pundits examine and rank the CC Sabathia, Manny Ramirez and AdamDunn trades, the most important acquisitions of the year for any contender are getting ignored. But take a look at the impact the Cubs' first-year center fielder is having for the team with the best record in the National League, then try to come up with another newcomer who has made as much of a difference.
That center fielder, of course, is the Reedmonds platoon of Reed
Johnson and Jim Edmonds."

This mutant Reedmonds has taken the league by storm. I'm not sure what sort of crazy genetic experiment produced this creature, but whatever it is it can definitely hit and play a mean center field. I think thats a little Edmonds growing in Reed's chin....Oh no wait, that's a troll. Whatever, Reedmonds rocks.

Olympians Breaking Records at More Than Just Sports

In 1992 the Olympic Committee decided it was time to start raising AIDS awareness by promoting safe sex amongst all the Olympic athletes. As a result, there was a ruling that the Olympics would give away free condoms to all the athletes who were staying in the Olympic Village.

It is great that the IOC promotes inter-athletes relations but it seems that the 2000 Olympics in Sydney took it to a new level. USA Today reported that at those particular Olympics they ran out of condoms for the athletes to use.

How many did they supply you may ask? 70,000.

Was Wilt Chamberlain an Olympian that year? How many of those condoms were used by the USA Basketball team?

This year in Beijing the "Organizers have supplied 100,000 condoms for the 10,500 athletes housed in the village."

Also, "Elasun, a condom maker in China, has been running funny ads showing Olympic stickman performing alongside condoms." Hence the picture above.

It looks like, at this year's Olympics, we're going for a new world record.

Luolibility Insurance

Well there hasn't been a lot of Bulls news lately, but then all of a sudden this bad news popped up on the radar: Luol Deng will not be allowed to play for the UK National Team. Your first thought might be: Passport problems? Nope. But wait, you say; I thought the NBA was required to release anyone who wanted to play for their national team? Well, yes, but like anything else, there is fine print. If the New York insurance company that insures NBA contracts will not insure the contract, then the NBA does not have to let the player go to his national team. Guess what?

"Deng, 23, signed a lucrative new deal with the Chicago Bulls two weeks ago after passing a battery of medical tests.

But the NBA's New York insurance company, which must cover all NBA players before they can play for their national teams, has refused to completely insure that contract because of an old back injury.

Deng missed three games in November with a minor back problem and the insurance broker's decision is based on an MRI scan taken then. Although a policy has been issued it does not cover that part of the player's body."

So what does this mean? How bad is Deng's back? Why haven't we heard about this? I mean the NBA has insured some pretty shitty players/contracts, but they won't insure a 23 year old with a minor back problem? What is management thinking signing him to this deal if his back problems might be this serious? What more should we, the fans and paying customers, know about these problems? I'm really pissed right now. I love Deng as a person and a player, but come on! I hope that this doesn't become a serious problem. On the other hand, f&$*% the UK, let him rest for the summer.

Ocho-Cinco vs. Michael Phelps: Who ya got?

In yet another stunning moment in Chad Johnson history, he claimed Wednesday that he could beat Michael Phelps in a swimming race. Any race. Here's the gem:

"Where I'm from -- Liberty City -- I know a couple people who can beat Michael Phelps right now. Seriously. I'm telling you. And I'm one of 'em."

Of course you are. Now Chad made glue out of a horse in a foot race last year, but I don't think he was racing Big Brown. I love that Ocho-Cinco knows these people can beat Phelps. Is he standing by the pool with a stopwatch? I wasn't so sure about the race against the horse, but this needs to happen.

Just Take The Freaking Money Ben Gordon!

Kelly Dwyer of Ball Don't Lie does a great round-up of NBA guards that still don't have a job. Of interest to us here at NQTC, however, is his analysis of Ben Gordon's situation. Kelly Dwyer is one of my favorite NBA analysts and he covers Chicago a lot (I think he is from here or something). Anyways, here's his summary of BG's situation:

It might be a plant from Chicago's front office, but then again Gordon's camp has done little to dissuade people from believing that the rumor of the Bulls offer of six-years and 59-million dollar deal is true. If it is true, then your first and second instincts are correct. Gordon should have signed on the dotted line yesterday. We know why he hasn't. Compared with the five-year, 50-million dollar deal the Bulls offered last fall, Gordon is stuck in Chicago for another year at a reduced per-year price. In order to come in under the luxury tax, Chicago has set up the deal so that Gordon's first year wouldn't be worth much more than he could make with the Qualifying Offer. And because Ben has been Chicago's leading scorer for the last few years, a fact he has incessantly offered in every interview Gordon has given this summer, he feels that he should be paid more than Luol Deng. He shouldn't
be. And because Chicago made a bum move in overpaying Andres Nocioni last summer and because it also refuses to spend big boy money and pay the luxury tax for a winner, Chicago won't budge, and Gordon's going to have to take the deal sooner or later. Because it's not as if there is any more money to be had (stateside, at least) by accepting the QO and becoming an unrestricted free agent next summer.

Kelly thinks Gordon is staying. I'm happy with it if he stays for that contract. I love the line about how BG won't shut up about how he was the team's leading scorer. Seriously BG, shut up and sign, you have no better offers out there.

Today's Links

• Sox win in a crazy game. Back-to-back-to-back-to-back homers? Maybe the magic is on the south side...Oh and Broadway goes back to Charlotte after win.
  
• The defense looked shaky against KC, but Urlacher isn't worried, and he'll show you why against Indy.
• Cubbies crush ball, win again. Brewers win streak halted FINALLY.
  
• Redeem Team avenges loss to Greece in 2006. Whatever, I'll be impressed when I see gold. Otherwise, he'll always just be "LeBronze" to me.
• Funny video about Chicago. Give it a few seconds, it gets better and better. (Thanks Ethan)
• Michael Phelps vs. Ditka who wins? I'm not so sure these days....
• USC has jock itch outbreak, everybody wins.

Sam Zell=Gordon Gekko?

There is no actual quote here, but if you listen to the audio, it appears that Zell is selling the Cubs as part of some sort of tax dodging scheme.

Apparently Zell makes more money if the sale of the Cubs is a highly-leveraged transaction. I'm not an economics major, but I'm pretty sure that means whoever buys the Cubs will have a lot of loans to pay back. That can't be good for the future of the team. I mean, would you trust this guy if he tried to sell you something? Look at him, he looks like some sort of evil wizard.