Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Boom, Roasted. Bulls Edition

Yesterday, Stormin' Norman came up with the idea of roasting the Bulls, Michael Scott style. For those of you that haven't seen the episode of The Office following the Super Bowl, the idea is completely stolen from this:



So in that spirit, I shall roast the Bulls, all in good fun of course. Without further delay, here we go, starting with Norman's original roasting of Vinny (he couldn't do the rest because he likes the Bulls too much):

Vinny Del Negro, your entire offense is based off an episode of Joanie Loves Chachi you saw one time. Boom, roasted. Larry Hughes, Vinny's only good moments always result in a "DNP-CD" next to your name in the box score. Boom, roasted.

Joakim Noah, the only thing uglier than your game, is your face. Boom, roasted. Drew Gooden, you're the only bald guy ever to have bad hair. And you're uglier than Noah. Boom, roasted.

Luol Deng, Duke sucks. Boom, roasted. Thabo Sefolosha, I spend more time trying to spell your name than you spend on the court; you suck. Boom, roasted.

Ben Gordon, even Don Nelson thinks you shoot too much. Boom, roasted.

Tyrus Thomas, your vertical leap is higher than your I.Q. and neither seems to help your game. Boom, roasted.

Lindsey Hunter, you can't call it a jump shot if you're too old to jump. Boom, roasted. Aaron Gray, your vertical leap makes Hunter look like Lebron. Boom, roasted.

Cedric Griffin Simmons, who are you? Boom, roasted. Michael Ruffin, you haven't even put on a uniform yet, but you look terrible every game. Boom, roasted.

Nocioni, you're Argentinian just like Manu, but the only thing your career shares with Ginobli is a tendency toward flopping. Boom, roasted.

Kirk Hinrich, the closest you've ever come to greatness is when you injured D-Wade by grabbing his wrist. Boom, roasted.

John Paxson, people may get you and Steve Kerr confused as players, but somehow you've made that idiot look like a genius GM. Boom, roasted.

Derrick Rose, with the first pick in the 2008 NBA Draft, the Chicago Bulls select....Boom, roasted.

7 comments:

DaChiFan said...

well done.

Ethan Samson said...

i don't get the rose thing

StevieY19 said...

What if I put it like this:

You play for the Bulls. Boom, roasted.

Ethan Samson said...

much better.

Gavin said...

Derrick Rose: You must have slept through your "Remembering a play out of a time out in the Fourth Quarter" and "When Shot Clocks Don't Reset" classes at Memphis. Boom Roasted.

Patrick said...

brilliant.

Adam Weingarten said...

I think next week we should roast Stormin Norman Disciple. He's such a tool. Boom. Roasted.

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