Where Was Charles Barkley Going When He Got That DUI?

I think I got sweat on my hands from uploading this picture

If you haven't heard, Sir Charles Barkley was arrested for a DUI earlier this week. What amazes me about this story is that it gets weirder and weirder, and yet I still find Charles just as lovable as I did before. Well that all might have changed after these little statements he made according to the police incident report:

According to the officer who wrote the report, "He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat."

The officer continues: "He asked me to admit that she was 'hot.' He asked me, 'You want the truth?' When I told him I did he said, 'I was gonna drive around the corner and get a b**w job. He then explained that she had given him a 'b**w job' one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life."

The report says when Barkley was taken to the station, he told one of the employees, "I'll tattoo my name on your ass" if he helped "get him out of the DUI." According to the report, "He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, 'I'll tattoo your name on my ass' and then laughed again."

The report also says officers "found a handgun in the vehicle" which was immediately impounded. The report doesn't say if the handgun was legal or not, and the only thing that we know for sure was loaded...

I'm not going to lie, he still seems pretty lovable to me. I don't know how those Alabama voters are going to feel about voting for him for Governor or Senator now, however. He's looking more and more like the Round Mound of Rehab than the Governor of anything.

Mo-ped Mo' Problems

2008 has been the year of the DUI in Big Ten footall. Ohio State and Michigan have notably suspended players for DUI arrests. Now a bit of an uproar and high-horsemanship has followed the lack of action taken by Bret Bielema when linebacker Jonathan Casillas was arrested for DUI on August 24th. Beilema said he had already punished Casillas and he would miss no game time for the incident. "Jonathan, come on out and get your whoopin."

I really don't care about the lack of suspension and University of Miami-like discipline from Bielema. What I do care about is how Casillas picked up the citation. Casillas was drunk, while operating a moped, with a passenger! A moped! A passenger! The horror! This is the kind of gold you only stumble upon at most once per decade right? The Badgers wish it was so.

We travel back to 2006, almost two years ago to the day. Wisconsin linebacker Elijah Hodge leaves the athletic training facilities in Madison, and figures he needs to get home somehow, right? As luck would have it, sitting right outside the building was....you guessed it, a moped. Hodge stole the hog and shockingly got caught.

That's two moped incidents in two years for Wisconsin. What the hell is going on there? I'd be careful driving your new vehicle next time you visit Paul.