Blagojevich Gets Lucrative Job Offer To Play Baseball

Blago doesn't have much to do these days, outside of preparing for his impending criminal trial of course. Well that fact hasn't been lost among prospective employers. Apparently the Joliet Jackhammers, a minor league team, have offered him a spot on the roster:

Blagojevich may not have much of a baseball pedigree, but he did play high school basketball and participated in a pair of fights after training as a Golden Gloves boxer. And he is supposed to be a die-hard Cubs fan, despite allegations he tried to hijack the Tribune company into firing some editorial writers in exchange for help in selling Wrigley Field.

"We figured with his vast knowledge and love for the game he would be a great addition to the team," said Kelly Sufka, JackHammers executive vice president and general manager, in a press release about the PR stunt. "Wally Backman, manager and former Major League player, will do what he can to get him as many at-bats as possible, but he may have to work hard in spring training to find himself a regular spot in the lineup."

The JackHammers obviously see the value in getting Blago on their roster and are ready to offer him a few incentives to come on board, starting with a Rod Blagojevich bobble-hair night, where 1,000 bobble-hairs (the hair instead of the head will bob) will be given away, and the ex-governor will throw out a first pitch. It marks the first time in team history a rookie has been offered a promotional item in his likeness.

The team also plans on having special "golden" seats available for purchase.

Will the good times never end for Blagojevich? There's no way he actually takes this offer, but how funny would it be? I would definitely go see him play.

Hyped Up Showdown Between Blago and Illinois Senate Marred By Poor Sportsmanship; Senate Runs Up Score 59-0

In a contest reminiscent of a mid-90s Nebraska football game, the Illinois Senate ran up the score yesterday evening, voting to convict Blago 59-0. Good riddance jackass!

Oh and one last thank you to ex-Governor Blagojevich for adding a third thing for Chicago to be known for. Al Capone and Michael Jordan, say hello to Rod's terrible, terrible hair.

If You Vote For One Man For Senator AND Governor, Make it Coach Ditka

There never seems to be a shortage of Ditka news in this city, and today is no different--though you can hardly call this news. After reporting a few weeks ago that some Chicago residents were pushing for Ditka to run for Governor, it now appears there is a push to have him named to the Senate as Obama's replacement. Over at DitkaForSenate, they make their case:

Since 1972, some 79 elected officials have been convicted of corruption in the Land of Lincoln, including 27 aldermen, 19 judges, 15 state legislators, three governors, two congressmen and one mayor. Those are some pretty ugly statistics.

Senator Obama hopped the hope train to DC. Governor Blagojevich's not-so-silent auction ended prematurely. The Senate seat is still empty.

Enter Mike Ditka. His achievements on the football field as player and coach include five Super Bowl wins and titles like NFL Coach of the Year and Pro Football Hall of Famer. A five-time Pro-Bowler and two-time first-team All-Pro, Ditka brings some stats you can really flaunt.

When will the good people of Illinois realize that the only politician they can trust isn't a politician at all?

I don't know if Ditka would make a good Senator or Governor or politician of any kind. His temper would probably make it difficult to work with others (e.g. Buddy Ryan, Jim McMahon, countless others). Even though those people he worked with hated him, many had great success when they were working with him. He may not be the nicest guy, but he would definitely get things done, and I highly doubt he is corrupt (though you never know). Let's go to his campaign video:

Ditka For Governor

Da Coach almost ran for the Senate against Barack Obama a few years back, but decided to leave politics to the politicians. Well with the recent demise of Governor Blagojevich (don't tell him that, he thinks he's going to fight this apparently), there are some Chicagoans who think Ditka should make a move to the next governor of Illinois. I don't blame them, Ditka does have way better hair. Here's their mission statement:

"We da people of Illinois are sick and tired of scumbag politicians who think dat it's their job to lie, cheat and steal. No more! We deserve somebody in charge who we can trust. Somebody who we can depend on. Somebody who we know
understands the difference between right and wrong and won't be afraid to kick corruption in the ass harder than da '85 Bears beat down da Patriots in da Super Bowl! Dat's right, my friends. Da man for da job is Coach Ditka. So let's make it happen! Ditka for Governor!!"

I like it. I bet those idiots in the Illinois House don't talk back to him, that's for sure. Otherwise they might get a Ditka sized foot in their ass. Oh and if anyone wants to buy me the "Ditka for Governor" hoodie I will be eternally grateful.