Qualified Links

• The Illini don't seem to have much trouble with the Boilermakers. Big win on Sunday to hopefully keep Illinois in the Top 25.
  
• Briggs helped out in the NFC's Pro Bowl victory. Unfortunately no one cares except the 5 guys at StevieY19's 6th Annual Pro Bowl Blowout Bash.
• Only 18 of 50 states have Major League baseball teams. What and where would the teams be if they existed in the other 32 states? Well some guy came up with all the team names and logos.
  
• Maybe losing Mark DeRosa won't be that bad. I'm not sure if this logic holds up statistically, and it definitely doesn't hold up in my heart. But maybe we are all overreacting...
  
• Is Ron Turner going to be the new Pitt football coach? I wouldn't mind, Lovie can call the offensive and defensive plays.
• Remember that time Kyle Farnsworth beat the shit out of Paul Wilson and started that massive brawl with the Reds? That is one nasty spear by Farnsy.
  
• The Bulls lost a tough one in OT to Dallas Saturday night, but all in all the road trip was a success.
  
• Greg Olsen is really good. How good? Maybe one of the best tight ends in league if we get him a good wide receiver to take some of the attention away from him.
• Remember Jordan's 55 point game at the garden? Here's a reminder.
  

NBA All-Star Game to Have Game of H-O-R-S-E

YES!!! Finally my dream for all-star weekend has come true. The NBA D-league has had HORSE at their all-star game for a few years now and I always felt that it would be awesome to watch NBA superstars making trick shots. The NBA has finally decided to have their own game of HORSE. Here is what the court they will be using looks like:



Apparently there are a couple new rules to go along with the traditional rules of HORSE: 1) Players will have 24 seconds to create/mimic shots; and 2) No dunks allowed. Get excited. I know I am. To leave you with a little taste of what this would have looked like in the late 80s/early 90s, here's a video:

Kobe Bryant Will Tear Off Your Head And Devour Your Soul...Just Kidding, But 61 Points at The Garden Ain't Bad

Kobe Bryant is no Jordan, but in case you didn't hear about it, he dropped a nasty 61 points on the Knicks last night. Curious about the stat line? Well here it is:

61 pts...19/31 fgs...20/20 fts...3/6 3fgs...0 rebs (odd?)...3 assts...1 blk.

Based on his shot chart, it looks like he scored from pretty much every spot on the court.

That point total eclipses MJ's record 55 points by an opposing player at the Garden. It also passes the all-time high by any player in the Garden set by Bernard King (60 pts). The most stunning statistic in my opinion is 20/20 from the free throw line. Talk about efficient. You think he can pick up the slack while Bynum is out? Seems like it.

Today's Links--Super Bowl Edition

• The Super Bowl was great. There have been some good games in the last 10 years, and Kurt Warner and Ben Roethlisberger have both been a part of half of them. Steelers win by the way, if you missed it.
  
• Northwestern wins a wild one over Wisconsin, and Penn State beats Michigan State in East Lansing. I love the Big Ten in conference play. (Thanks to Gavin for emailing me this link with the message "Wildcat fever...Catch it!!!")
  
• I am being completely serious when I say the Bulls just had their first 3-game winning streak this year and it came on the road. I wouldn't believe me either the way they've played recently. Do you think it had to do with Reinsdorf's bitching?
  
• How is Richard Dent not in the Hall of Fame. He was the best defensive lineman on the best defense in NFL history. This may be as big a rip off as Santo not being in the Hall.
• A sweet picture of MJ escaping Chicago in his Ferrari Testarosa sometime in the 1990s.
  
• The funeral for Eddy Curry's baby mamma and their kids was held this weekend. Apparently at some point Eddy asked the Knicks for an $8 million dollar advance on his paycheck. This guy has some problems.
  
• A Chicago Olympic update.
• Apparently Pujols wants Manny to come to the Cardinals. Seems pretty unlikely.

Hyped Up Showdown Between Blago and Illinois Senate Marred By Poor Sportsmanship; Senate Runs Up Score 59-0

In a contest reminiscent of a mid-90s Nebraska football game, the Illinois Senate ran up the score yesterday evening, voting to convict Blago 59-0. Good riddance jackass!

Oh and one last thank you to ex-Governor Blagojevich for adding a third thing for Chicago to be known for. Al Capone and Michael Jordan, say hello to Rod's terrible, terrible hair.

Stormin Norman's Clutch Performance Sole Highlight in Bulls Lackluster Performance

Stormin Norman (on the right in a white shirt)

strolls off the court after soundly defeating

his opponent in a Tic Tac Toe Death Match

The Bulls played the Hawks last night and did their usual thing: play half-decent until the fourth quarter and then blow it. The real highlight of the game, however, was when I won the tic tac toe game on the court in the second quarter during a timeout.

Basically how the game works is that there is a giant tic tac toe board placed at center court. There are two contestants and each time a contestant makes a layup, he grabs an X or O and runs to center court to place it on the giant board. I went up against a kid I know from back in high school.

Yes that kid had just drank about 7 beers and could barely walk straight, however I went 4/5 on the layups to grasp victory from the hands of defeat. I know it was just a stupid game, but shooting a ball on the same court as Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and other Bulls legends while 10s of thousands of fans cheered me on was a great feeling.

Should the Bulls sign me to a 10-day contract? I don't see why not. I ran harder than anyone in a Bulls uniform and I finished pretty well around the basket. Where even the great Derrick Rose struggled last night, Stormin Norman came through big time (yes Stormin Norman now talks in the third person).

What did I win, you ask? Perhaps a $1,000? A new TV? A gift certificate to ESPN Zone? Nope. A crappy XL t-shirt. Shitty I know, but the truth is I didn't need a prize. I play for the love of the game. Hear that Pax? I'll play for free. Sign Stormin Norman up now.

Today's Links

• Illinois absolutely wrecks the Hoosiers. No matter how Illinois does this year (looks like they will be pretty good), it's going to be fun to watch how horribly shitty Indiana is.
• Marinelli gets hired as D-Line coach of the Bears. Can they please just give him Babich's job?
• Is Kenny Williams about to make a crazy desperation move? Probably.
  
• Matt over at Blog-a-Bull seems to be reaching here, but I think he's implying the possibility of a Nocioni for Bosh trade...seems unlikely.
• Want to watch a video of Michael Jordan's mom? Well here you go.
  
• The NFL Playoffs this year have been awesome. So much for home field advantage mattering much.
• Is a lack of leadership to blame for the Bulls overtime loss to OKC? Hinrich will be back Thursday, so that might help. At least they beat the Wizards Friday.
• Did you see the Blago-Burris sketch on SNL? The Burris part cracked me up, the Blago part was so-so.
  
• The Hawks downed the Predators, so that little 2-game skid is gone. Oh, and I'm going to the Hawks game on Wednesday, should I bring binoculars? Or just not know what's going on 90% of the time because the puck is too small?

Michael Jordan's First Acting Gig

We all know Michael Jordan as the polished, classy gentleman we see today, but what was he like before all the fame and accolades...Let's find out!

Off The Expressway, Over The River, Off The Bilboard, Through The Window, Off The Wall, Nothing But Net

What would you do for a Big Mac? Well if you are a giant white man with bad knees I guess you would play some sort of crazy game of Horse against Michael Jordan for it. Commercials used to be so f#$%ing awesome:

Today's Links

• The Bulls finally win one! It came down to the wire, but they pulled it out. If the last week has shown anything, it's that Drew Gooden is very important to this team.
  
• Antoine Walker gets busted for driving drunk. It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
• Top Ten odds on what Milton Bradley will do this season. Pretty funny.
• The Cubs just finished sending Jason Marquis to the Rockies. Does that mean there will be enough money for Peavy? We probably won't know until the Cubs are sold.
• Mark Cuban has something to say about his involvement in the sale of the Cubs.
• Top Ten Michael Jordan magazine covers of all time via Zoner.
• Don't worry about Milton Bradley's ability to stay healthy, Jim Hendry already took care of that in the contract.
• Bears linebackers coach Lloyd Lee is out. Please let Babich be next!?
• Look who the Chicago Tribune writers voted for the Baseball Hall of Fame. Harold Baines? Really Phil Rogers and Paul Sullivan? Baines? Oh and Rogers voted for Grace. That's fine I guess, except for how its a terrible vote. I hate our mainstream sports media.
  

Classic Bulls Christmas

Another great classic Bulls clip. This is from Christmas in 1992, Bulls vs. Knicks. Jordan goes off for 42 points in the Bulls win. A lot of great 90s graphics and my favorite part is Jordan's quote about 2/3 through the clip about how certain young Knicks should stop being so cocky. Enjoy:

Bulls Memory Lane Videos

Yesterday Zoner brought us the video of Charles Smith getting his shit stuffed over and over again from about 15 years ago. That made me think of some of my favorite moments in Bulls history and I remembered this great moment. After losing to the Pistons in the playoffs in the 3 years prior to 1991, the Bulls finally took the next step and got over the ugly, dirty, annoying, Detroit Pistons. They swept the Pistons right out of Detroit. As always, the Pistons responded in the classy way they approached everything; by walking out with time left on the clock, refusing to play the last 7.9 seconds:


Bad Boys? More like classless jerks. Good memories (except for you StevieY, but whatever).

A Little Holiday Video

I found this little video over at Zoner Sports. Looks like they are going to be running a little "Walk Down Memory Lane" Bulls Title Edition for a while. The first? Remember when the Bulls blocked Charles Smith what seemed like 20 times? Zoner does, and here it is:



I love any highlight that reminds me about Ewing never winning a title. Happy Holidays to everyone!

The Greatest Legend of All Time

Michael Jordan is in the news again, this time for what looks to be a possible second marriage. That being said, I stumbled on this video of a new MJ commercial at Docksquad Sports. Like Docksquad says...goosebumps...

Today's Links

• Some CEO beats Michael Jordan in one-on-one circa 2003. It's a bit painful to watch. You know MJ was not happy after this.
• Carlos Quentin and Carlos Zambrano bring home the Silver Sluggers at their positions in their respective leagues.
  
• Orton's status for Sunday remains unclear. We need him to play, but if he's hurt he's hurt and he shouldn't push it. Apparently Orton thinks Orton will play, however.
  
• Bulls beat a tired, old-looking Dallas team. After Dallas jumped out to a 19 point lead early, the Bulls stormed back and crushed them on Gordon's 35 points. Oh and Hughes is back and he actually played defense!
  
• Chicago Fire lose in the Eastern Conference Finals. So much for the vaunted soccer expert Rob's prediction.
• Tremendous Upside Potential talks about the Hawks. Decent article though I'm a little bitter that last night when I finally watched a Hawks game, they blew it in the shootout.

Another Example of Michael Jordan and John Paxson's Great Chemistry

This video is an interview with pornstar Kylie Ireland about a night in 1993 when MJ was in Denver playing the Nuggets. Not only did he sleep with this woman, but he got a little "assist" from his wingman, John Paxson.



My favorite things about the video:
1) Apparently she got permission from her then-husband to sleep with MJ. My girlfriend wouldn't even have to ask me, she would know the answer was yes.
2) They hopped into Ireland's De La Soul. I forgot all about that little car. How did he fit in there?
3) The best part of the story is that Jordan, after realizing he didn't have protection, made a call. Who came to the rescue to slip a rubber under the door? None other than John Paxson. That assist should count in his 1993 season statistics.

Weekend Video Hits

I have no idea why I'm posting these, just a couple old school movies to watch. This first one is a filthy highlight mix of 90s MJ stuff:



This one is the Super Bowl Shuffle. Always a classic:



**UPDATE: Matt R. insists that we add a Pistol Pete montage. Not sure why, but the video is pretty sweet:

Today's Links

• Cubs to play home opener at new Yankee Stadium next year? That'd be pretty sweet if you ask me.
  
• The Jordan v. Magic one-on-one pay-per-view that never happened. That would have been sweet.
• Stories about Philly fans acting like complete shitheads. Some are funny, most are awful, all are worth the read.
• More Ben Gordon please? Coach Vinnie seems to want to see some more of him too.
  
• What's worse better, sports bloggers or political bloggers? They both suck for so many different reasons.
• Video montage of coaches/players swearing and acting like fools. Enjoy.
• Will Kerry Wood be back next year?
• Bulls roster cuts.
  
• Coach Ditka alters the path of history again. At least by this crazy fan's twisted logic. I kind of agree.

Today's Links

• Who's to blame for the late-game meltdown by the Bears? How about special teams coach Taub?
  
• Magic Johnson does not want to hear about how you think he faked AIDS.
• Chi-Ball reports that Mariotti is still in talks with the Tribune to be a print sportswriter. Eww. Whatever, Chi-Ball reports every rumor as news.
• A Kenyan won the Chicago Marathon in 2 hours 6 minutes. That's roughly a 4:50 mile. How do those guys do that?
• Some picture of MJ with a Cigar in his hand looking like the stud that he is.
• Illinois BLEW it. This is one of those sports weekends that really pisses me off.
• I'm so sorry about these annoying Cubs and Sox rumors, but I wouldn't be doing my job not to report them (what's my job exactly?). Apparently the Giants are interested in D-Lee or Paul Konerko.
• Come on Wildcats! You can't go down 17-0 and expect to come back! Even at home. Northwestern loses its first game.
• If Thabo can hit his jumpers, he may be a very valuable piece of the puzzle.
  

Weekend Vide-O-Rama

Thanks to Shuttlesworth for this video. Michael Jordan schooling the Bobcats in practice. Sam Vincent loves the guy, but who wouldn't?