Qualified Links

• The Illini don't seem to have much trouble with the Boilermakers. Big win on Sunday to hopefully keep Illinois in the Top 25.
  
• Briggs helped out in the NFC's Pro Bowl victory. Unfortunately no one cares except the 5 guys at StevieY19's 6th Annual Pro Bowl Blowout Bash.
• Only 18 of 50 states have Major League baseball teams. What and where would the teams be if they existed in the other 32 states? Well some guy came up with all the team names and logos.
  
• Maybe losing Mark DeRosa won't be that bad. I'm not sure if this logic holds up statistically, and it definitely doesn't hold up in my heart. But maybe we are all overreacting...
  
• Is Ron Turner going to be the new Pitt football coach? I wouldn't mind, Lovie can call the offensive and defensive plays.
• Remember that time Kyle Farnsworth beat the shit out of Paul Wilson and started that massive brawl with the Reds? That is one nasty spear by Farnsy.
  
• The Bulls lost a tough one in OT to Dallas Saturday night, but all in all the road trip was a success.
  
• Greg Olsen is really good. How good? Maybe one of the best tight ends in league if we get him a good wide receiver to take some of the attention away from him.
• Remember Jordan's 55 point game at the garden? Here's a reminder.
  

A Concise and Effective Plan for the Chicago Bears Offseason

Obviously we have a few months to analyze what the Bears needs are in the off-season. I have heard a lot of talk about quarterbacks, receivers, defensive backs, etc. Without doing any in-depth research, my initial conclusions are short and sweet, but don't hold me to them:

• We need a premier wide receiver. Trade for Anquan Boldin or sign a free agent. (NOT an overpaid veteran on the downslope of his career i.e. Mushin Muhammed).



• This goes against what I just said, but if Jeremy Maclin is on the board at 18, how can you not take him?



• Do not spend a lot of money on a quarterback! Get a decent backup (Leftwich or Chris Simms maybe?), but do not overspend on someone who may or may not be more effective than Neckbeard. I'm looking at you Matt Cassel, Kerry Collins and Kurt Warner! Stay away from Chicago.



• Let Jerry Angelo do what he does best, improve the defense through the draft. Most of the effective players that made the Bears defense great these last few years were drafted in middle and late rounds by Jerry. He is a great talent evaluator when it comes to defensive playmakers that fit the Cover 2 system. Let him do his thing. My top suggestion is to draft an entirely new secondary. Even though I still like Peanut, we need depth at all 4 defensive back positions.



• That being said, maybe bringing in Julius Peppers to replace an aging Ogunleye isn't a bad idea.



• Is Urlacher's day done? Not quite, but maybe it's time to look for a legitimate replacement for him in the draft for 2-3 years from now. If you're one of those people that wants to move Briggs to the middle, then look for Briggs replacement.

The biggest changes that need to be made are obviously with the coaching staff. If Lovie can't change the mindset of the defense, then it won't matter what personnel they bring in. More draft coverage to come as it draws closer.

Today's Links

• The Blackhawks beat Edmonton 9-2 last night. Wow, two safeties in one game! Every Chicago forward had a point, except Toews. Some captain.
• Pro Bowl Rosters are announced. Lance Briggs is the only Bear on the roster. No Sex Cannon?!
• The Bulls got outworked by the Bobcats, and possibly worked over by the refs in an OT loss. Looked like a good call to me.
• Penn State and Joe Paterno agree to a three year extension. With a God-option for a fourth year?
• HHR recaps the preseason college football predictions. Pretty damn impressive really.
• God explains Week 15 of the NFL season. Something about magmakakke.

Bears Fun With Urban Dictionary

I tried this with the Cubs and it turned out pretty funny, so lets see how it goes with the Bears. Urban Dictionary is a great website. It is basically like wikipedia in that it is user generated, but the difference is it is for slang or "urban" words. Anyways, I decided to see how people "defined" certain Bears players, and I found some pretty funny ones. My favorite part is the italics, where the word is used in a sentence. Enjoy.

Orton-

A really disgusting sexual move where the man uses his penis to caress his own mouth to "turn on" a pig. Technically known as doing the orton.

"I just did this sick orton maaaaaaaaaan!!!!, because the pig was annoying me!"


Lance Briggs-

Dopey Chicago Bear that the Bears put the franchise tag on, so he threatened to hold out the season on the advice of his agent, who took the fight to the press. He eventually signed a one year deal instead of the multi-year guaranteed money deal he wanted. Subsequently he crashed his Lamborgdini at 3 AM and fled the scene. It would have been ironic if he would had a career ending injury, because the Bears wouldn't have been on the hook for the multi year deal.

Lance Briggs almost pulled a Ben Rothslenberger.


Rex Grossman-

1. To choke in the clutch, big game, under deadlines. To suck.

You sure did a Rex Grossman on that project Frank; you're fired.

2. A very slow spin move in Madden, used mostly by a QB.

"Shit dude, you just pulled a Rex Grossman."


Robbie Gould-

	adequentally and equally known as RFG. RFG is the kicker for the chicago bears, is the second coming of god, known for his 69 yard field goal in triple overtime from 1 leg with his eyes closed! oo yea and left footed. Robbie Fucking Gould is AMAZING is actually better then devin hester. not really "rfg is god and robbie gould"

Thank you Urban Dictionary for hours of fun. I'll run one of these on the Bulls soon. Lets just hope the Sex Cannon doesn't do an Orton on RFG. I don't know what that means either.