Bears Fun With Urban Dictionary

I tried this with the Cubs and it turned out pretty funny, so lets see how it goes with the Bears. Urban Dictionary is a great website. It is basically like wikipedia in that it is user generated, but the difference is it is for slang or "urban" words. Anyways, I decided to see how people "defined" certain Bears players, and I found some pretty funny ones. My favorite part is the italics, where the word is used in a sentence. Enjoy.

Orton-

A really disgusting sexual move where the man uses his penis to caress his own mouth to "turn on" a pig. Technically known as doing the orton.

"I just did this sick orton maaaaaaaaaan!!!!, because the pig was annoying me!"


Lance Briggs-

Dopey Chicago Bear that the Bears put the franchise tag on, so he threatened to hold out the season on the advice of his agent, who took the fight to the press. He eventually signed a one year deal instead of the multi-year guaranteed money deal he wanted. Subsequently he crashed his Lamborgdini at 3 AM and fled the scene. It would have been ironic if he would had a career ending injury, because the Bears wouldn't have been on the hook for the multi year deal.

Lance Briggs almost pulled a Ben Rothslenberger.


Rex Grossman-

1. To choke in the clutch, big game, under deadlines. To suck.

You sure did a Rex Grossman on that project Frank; you're fired.

2. A very slow spin move in Madden, used mostly by a QB.

"Shit dude, you just pulled a Rex Grossman."


Robbie Gould-

	adequentally and equally known as RFG. RFG is the kicker for the chicago bears, is the second coming of god, known for his 69 yard field goal in triple overtime from 1 leg with his eyes closed! oo yea and left footed. Robbie Fucking Gould is AMAZING is actually better then devin hester. not really "rfg is god and robbie gould"

Thank you Urban Dictionary for hours of fun. I'll run one of these on the Bulls soon. Lets just hope the Sex Cannon doesn't do an Orton on RFG. I don't know what that means either.

Cubs Fun With Urban Dictionary

I don't know if all NQTC readers are familiar with the site Urban Dictionary, but its a great website. It is basically like wikipedia in that it is user generated, but the difference is it is for slang or "urban" words. Anyways, I decided to see how people "defined" certain Cubs players, and I found some pretty funny ones. My favorite part is the italics, where the word is used in a sentence. Enjoy.




A. Carlos Zambrano:

1. Pitcher for the Chicago Cubs. Know for Tantrums, Sky-Pointing, Bat-Breaking, glasses-making, Out-Striking, Instant Messaging-related injuries, Manliness, and being the Hugo Chavez of Baseball.

2. anyone who is known for being a Beast and/or eating sharp/jagged objects such as Nails or Broken Glass Glass

Wow! That guy broke a bat on his knee and ate it; he is such a Carlos Zambrano.

B. Theriot

A purple-yellow colored turd occasionally containing blood.

Look at that theriot in the toilet Calvin left.

And of course...

C. Fukudome

An Asian baseball player for the Cubs....said to be crazier than Chuck Norris this son-of-a-B will fuck some bitches up..People often say Fuck u....Do me

Fukudome hit a homerun with his dick.

Thank you Urban Dictionary, for hours of endless fun. Fukudome is going to go Zambrano on your ass and make you look like a little piece of Theriot. People should read this site to help their vocab for SAT prep. No doubt about it.