Kobe Bryant Will Tear Off Your Head And Devour Your Soul...Just Kidding, But 61 Points at The Garden Ain't Bad

Kobe Bryant is no Jordan, but in case you didn't hear about it, he dropped a nasty 61 points on the Knicks last night. Curious about the stat line? Well here it is:

61 pts...19/31 fgs...20/20 fts...3/6 3fgs...0 rebs (odd?)...3 assts...1 blk.

Based on his shot chart, it looks like he scored from pretty much every spot on the court.

That point total eclipses MJ's record 55 points by an opposing player at the Garden. It also passes the all-time high by any player in the Garden set by Bernard King (60 pts). The most stunning statistic in my opinion is 20/20 from the free throw line. Talk about efficient. You think he can pick up the slack while Bynum is out? Seems like it.

The Big Aristotle Explains The Laws of Physics to an Unconscious Stuckey

If you missed it last night, Shaq put a hard foul on Stuckey in the Pistons-Lakers game. He was called for a flagrant 2 foul and subsequently ejected from the game.

You can be the judge on whether that was an intentional flagrant foul or not, but either way, Shaq's explanation is classic:

"The law of physics states that a body in motion stays in motion," O'Neal said. "And if you have two objects that meet in the air, the smaller object is going to fall much harder at the same rate of speed it was going. I've never been the type of player to take anyone out. I was going for the ball."

Has this guy ever taken responsibility for anything in his life ever? Ever? At least he is hilariously idiotic in his explanations about why nothing is his fault. I'm sure he passed physics at LSU when he was getting paid and not going to any classes.