White Sox Fans Have a Lot in Common With Helen Keller When It Comes to Ozzie

Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate the Sox. In fact I like them a lot. There are players on the team I have always liked and I will be the first to admit that the Cell is a fun place to see a ballgame (far different than Wrigley, but still fun). Either way, Sox fans seem to be blind and deaf when it comes to Ozzie.

Ok ok, I know the guy won a World Series in 2005, but is it possible that was a fluke? Is it possible that their pitching just got hot at the right time and that Kenny Williams neurotic trigger pulling on deals luckily hit for one season, like a slot machine?

Well White Sox fans refuse to accept those possibilities (extremely likely possibilities). They all want to point to Ozzie Guillen as the reason for the World Series, and have blamed all subsequent choking and underperforming on the players and to a lesser extent Kenny Williams. (And a quick shout-out to "grinderball", which Sox fans seem to think is the answer to all their problems. They must have forgotten that the team in 2005 was one of the worst offensive teams to win a World Series EVER and that it was pitching that got them where they were, not "grinderball". Honestly there is nothing more retarded than "grinderball". I better save this rant for another post)

What evidence do I have that Ozzie is a terrible manager (and person for that matter)? Well besides the terrible performances by one of the highest paid teams in baseball the past 3 years, the constant meltdowns in front of the media, the intolerance for difference, and the berating and embarassing of players publicly, there is another thing that just seems to keep happening with Ozzie. It seems that everytime a player leaves the Sox, he bashes Ozzie. Everyone knows Ozzie is a bully since the days when he hazed the rookies in the early 90s so hard that they ended up hating him (e.g. Frank Thomas). His players are obviously scared to say anything against him while they are on the team, but the truth comes out afterwards. Just in the last month alone, there have been three examples:

1) Orlando Cabrera's well-documented feud with Ozzie.

2) Nick Swisher's feud with Ozzie after he was traded.

3) And just in yesterday...Javier Vazquez seems to think the atmosphere in the clubhouse was not great:

“The negativity is never good," Vazquez said at his news conference in Atlanta. "I’ve always been a big believer in being positive, especially in professional leagues. You’ve got a lot of negative things going on, so you always try to be positive."

Those are just in the last month! That doesn't include Frank Thomas, Magglio Ordonez, and others in past years.

And before you Sox fans run your mouths about how those guys all suck, think about how that plays into my argument exactly. You are all being blind and deaf. I am writing this because I want the Sox to do well, and Ozzie Guillen is tearing this team apart. Ship him out.

**Disclaimer: Since I am not a big Sox fan, I can't truly comprehend how much a WS ring can blind a fan, so I'm assuming you're all just so enamored with the 'ship that you can't see the truth that is right in front of you.

Today's Links

• Larry Hughes hits a jumper at the buzzer to give the Bulls a win over the Jazz. Yep, Larry Hughes.
• Is the NHL gaining in the popularity contest against the NBA? Stormin' Norman hopes not; I don't see what has taken so long.
• So being a gigantic sports nerd, I actually stated that I wanted to see this happen before I died. The Cards tried it and totally screwed it up.
• A lengthy article about how bad Northwestern sucks at basketball. It just takes a lot of time to capture the magnitude of the crappiness.
• Should he stay or should he go? A couple of views on the future of Charlie Weis at Notre Dame.
• When Ozzie talks, people listen. The Sox manager will not miss Nick Swisher.

One Game Playoff Fun

This is great. The Twins and White Sox in baseball's version of the play-in game. Time to see if the Sox can slam their way to another victory to grab the AL Central Championship and possibly build some momentum going into the playoffs. If you would have told me at the start of the year that the White Sox would be playing the Twins in a one gamer for the division and a chance to play the AL East Champion Tampa Bay Rays, I'd have slapped you, laughed at you, and kicked you right in the pants.

Ozzie of course is talking about the game, this time sticking to his description of Twins starter Nick Blackburn's last outing versus the Sox as "lucky," saying that if he pitches like that again, he likes Chicago's chances.



I don't know who you give the momentum to going into this game, but I'm going to say the Sox have it. Yeah, they were swept by Minnesota last weekend, but the Twins went on to struggle with the Royals and Ramirez's grand slam against Detroit was gigantic. That said, conventional wisdom and the Chicago White Sox have rarely agreed this season.

It's been mentioned over and over recently, but you have to love being a sports fan in this city right now. So turn on the TV (and turn down the volume) and watch the game. Cheer for the Sox, cheer against them, but take it in, because it's a one game playoff and there's only one October in September.

Ozzie Guillen Gets Mad; Beats Wife (or her picture I guess)

Apparently Ozzie has run out of things to break in his office. After Saturday night's terrible loss to the Indians, Ozzie was angry. The Sun-Times reported:

There wasn't much in the office left for Ozzie Guillen to break after the latest humiliation Saturday.

He took care of that after the embarrassment he witnessed Friday.

It started with a few bottles.

Then it progressed to some of his pictures. That included the picture of his wife, Ibis. Poor Ibis, that picture never will be the same.

''My wife looks like she has black eyes,'' Guillen joked. ''I was so mad I hit a picture I'm not supposed to hit. I was so upset, I didn't know what to do.''

I hope the White Sox can stay alive and make the playoffs, because losing Ozzie's ridiculous quotes would leave me with at least 50% less material to write about. What's the reference to a few bottles? Was he drinking? I think maybe its time for some marriage counseling for those two.

Today's Links--Sleeping With Dusty's Daughter Edition

• Is Dusty Baker's daughter sleeping with Corey Patterson? Why else would Dusty have a guy that can't bat his weight leading off? Oh right, because he is an idiot.
• "Air" McNabb will be throwing all night next Sunday against the Bears, especially with Westbrook on the shelf.
• Is this Lou's last year managing? Whether he wins or loses he may be considering retirement.
• Some good Ozzie quotes. Also, is "Big-Game" Floyd ready to pitch the most important game of the season? Also Orlando Cabrera rips his team.
• Top ten Millen disasters. There were so many candidates for this list, it must have been difficult to pare it down to 10.
• I should not even be posting these, and you would never see them on NQTC until the Cubs actually make it, but here's what Cubs World Series tickets look like.
• Benny the Bull takes out one of the Sausages in the infamous Sausage Race...on ice.
• Cubs win to help Brewers move into a tie for the Wild Card. Personally I would rather play the tired Brewers than the Mets, but that's just me. Unfortunately Z did not perform that well.
  

MadTV Parody of Ozzie

The Chicagoist dug this up on youtube. It is hilarious. Trust me you want to watch until the end. There is something about Ozzie's style that is endearing, and then there's the larger part of his style that is just obnoxious. Watch the whole thing, it's pretty funny.

Today's Links--Clinch Edition

• Cubs clinch. Back-to-back division titles. They have a long way to go though. What do they do about Theriot's slump? Fukudome? How is Lou going to set the rotation?
• The Bears look like a legitimate team in the NFC, but why do they keep blowing it in the fourth quarter? Mike Brown thinks its "disgusting".
• Bears quotes from after the game.
• Top ten reasons the Sox must sweep in Minny.
• David Thorpe of ESPN thinks that Derrick Rose's weakness is his ability to exploit screens set for him.
• US wins Ryder Cup. Finally. Screw Europe.
• Houston players are still crying and bitching about the game they played on a "neutral" site.
• Ozzie wants his team to maintain their intensity.
• It's true Big Z followed up his no-no with a bad outing. But did you hear why? He had to fly down to Venezuela and back for his grandmother's funeral. It's tough to pitch on no sleep with that on your mind.
  

White Sox To Face Darth Vader In Crucial Mid-September Series

Scheduling error?  Promotional Giveaway?  Who knows, but either way this is not a friendly looking schedule:

It's been a crazy season for the South Side, but defeating the Empire (note the game is against the Yankees) will be very difficult. 

Yoda: You must not face him!  You're training completed you have not!

Ozzie: What the fuck are you?  Fuck you you little homo puppet.  That's just Hank Steinbrenner.

Guillen's Unbridled Fury

When Ozzie doesn't like someone, or someone shows him up or makes him look bad, he has a unique, mature way of dealing with it. He usually goes back to the grind and tries to come out and beat the other person next time, fair and square. Sometimes he congratulates the other person on a job well done. Just kidding, he acts like a complete jackass. He goes to the media and rips the other person publicly. In line with that philosophy of dealing with problems, Ozzie had another great quote this weekend. When the 5'7" Dustin Pedroia of the Red Sox reached base 12 of 14 times in the weekend series, Ozzie had this to say about him:

''I never thought I was going to walk a goddamn jockey,'' Guillen said of the 5-7 Pedroia, a player he actually admires. ''Walking a guy who just came from being on top of Big Brown. Right now, he's on a roll. This guy right now is on fire. No matter what you throw up there, he's going to get it. I can't believe you can change professions in one year, go from the Kentucky Derby to the Boston Red Sox ballpark.''

Ozzie is the funniest man in sports. He's also a complete jackass and I wouldn't want to work with him, have a beer with him, or let him near me or my loved ones. Let the jockey-baseball jokes ensue.

Today's Links--Rammy's Granny Edition

Finally! An analysis of the Dream Team vs. the Redeem Team that is based on empirical evidence. Dream Team wins by the way.

CUBBIES!!! Sorry, I was at the game last night. Recap: Hamels was untouchable, but the second he came out it was HR, double, single, walk, granny. Rammy is the man. Apparently it was Lou's birthday as well.

An explanation of how and why Deng cannot play in FIBA games because of his back, and what GB can do to make this go away. I'll give you a clue: It costs 2.5 million dollars.

Cubs v. White Sox World Series? It's possible, but Phil Rogers claims it would be a bad thing for the Cubs.

Hilarious exchange between a Sun-Times reader and the editor of the Times, along with other reader reactions (via deadspin). Oh and Ozzie seems pretty excited about Mariotti, but that's no surprise.

Roger Ebert weighs in on Mariotti leaving. He isn't happy with the "rat" either.

Apparently there was some kind of Bears game last night. Whatever. Wake me up when the regular season starts so our offense can put me right back to sleep.

Lovie is pissed about reports that Daniel Manning is out at nickelback. Ok Lovie, we get it. Daniel is your nickelback.

Today's Links

• Luol Deng is a really great guy. An interesting article about Luol having nothing to do with basketball (via Truehoop).
  
• Ozzie admits to ordering his pitchers to hit people. I'm not sure how that is "news".
• Woody's ready to go. We could use him.
• I guess I'm just into Ozzie today. Ozzie's Top Ten Greatest Quotes.
• Ok, so the Bears need to fix the Offensive line, right? So they draft a lineman in the first round, right? So....he's hurt now. So the line is shuffling around and guys are playing out of position. Does it really matter whether Grossman or Orton are quarterback if the line is going to give up 7 sacks a game?
• What a hook! I wonder what Prince was upset about. Not enough cheeseburgers in the clubhouse? Cecil called and pissed him off? The wheels are coming off in Milwaukee (deja vu?), and we will be able to point to last week's sweep as a turning point for the Brew Crew.
• Activities during the rain delay: 1) Go to basement to avoid tornado; 2) Find throwback Obama jersey online; 3) watched "Martin" on rain delay theater. After all that, Cubs lose anyways and I am exhausted.