Big Ten Power Rankings

1) Penn State- The Nittany Lions had a good practice session against Indiana last week. They play MSU for a chance to go to the Rose Bowl. Paterno typically prefers Florida this time of year though.

2) Ohio State- Tressel was asked about the chance of the Bucks making a BCS bowl and pretty much said that a BCS berth means nothing compared to beating Michigan. Not what the Wolverines wanted to hear.

3) Michigan State- Moving to the excessively stupid section of coach quotes, Dantonio said he will be cheering for the Buckeyes Saturday, even though the Spartans need a Michigan win to get to the Rose Bowl. Oh, Sparty.

4) Northwestern- The Wildcats are 8-3 and their defense that has been opportunistic all year and great against the run should give the Illini fits. Also, is there a more intimidating place to play than Ryan Field? Okay, but the defense is still good.

5) Iowa- The Hawkeyes have won four of five, a three point loss to Illinois being the only setback. After three straight losses, including two to start Big Ten play, few thought Iowa would have a chance to finish 8-4. And by few, I mean just Dallas Clark.

6) Wisconsin- The sconnies have also gone on a late season push, winning three of four. If only they didn't blow that game at Michigan State. Still, barring a ridiculous loss to Cal Poly, the Badgers will head to a bowl game against an inferior opponent.

7) Minnesota- Reality has hit Minnesota straight in the mouth. Not that 7-5 won't be a great turnaround, but with so many Big Ten teams becoming bowl eligible, the Gophers might need to beat Iowa to secure a bowl bid.

8) Illinois- The season for the Illini isn't a turnaround as much as it is a bend-over. A trip to Northwestern will be their last chance to become bowl eligible, but really they don't deserve it. Ron Zook plans to increase his baby intake over the winter.

9) Michigan- Just when it looked like Michigan turned a corner, the Wolverines managed to blow it in the 3rd quarter against Northwestern. There is nothing good to say about this team, it's just that there are really bad things to say about the next two.

10) Purdue- Purdue flirted with this "winning" thing for, well, a week; but the Boilers are back on track. Indiana is a dirty temptrest though, and it will try to get Purdue to return to the win column this week.

11) Indiana- Finally, it's here! Purdue vs. Indiana. If only we could throw Notre Dame into the mix and make this a battle royale for Indiana supremacy. Wait, isn't Ball State in Indiana?

Big Ten Power Rankings

1) Penn State- Yeah, they lost, but there are no teams in the Big Ten ready to take PSU's place atop the Power Rankings. Plus, it saves them the embarrassment of losing in the National Championship.

2) Ohio State- You stay classless Ohio State. At first it was just the fake punt up 21 in the fourth, which was actually okay, but then the Bucks went in for a touchdown with seven seconds left. "Oh, our backups were in..." They can't take a knee?

3) Michigan State- No change in the top three this week as the Spartans dealt with Purdue 21-7. I couldn't have been more bored watching this game. MSU will have a week off before playing Penn State for a chance at sharing the Big Ten Championship.

4) Northwestern- There is a significant drop-off at this point. Both the Buckeyes and Spartans handled Northwestern easily, but Northwestern has wins over the next group of teams in the conference. A win against Michigan could result in a very respectable bowl bid.

5) Iowa- The Hawkeyes move up with the huge upset against Penn State. The whole conference can thank Iowa for avoiding another National Championship loss. Iowa's four losses this year are by a total of 12 points.

6) Minnesota- A terrible loss for Minnesota this week. They played without Decker and have a history of struggles against Michigan (they've never beaten UM in the Metrodome), but this was the year to win the jug and they didn't get the job done. I still love that Gopher mascot.

7) Illinois- The Illini suffered the worst loss of the weekend, dropping what was supposed to be their bowl clinching win to Western Michigan. No offense to the Broncos, but this is awful. If the rest of the teams weren't so horrible, Illinois would be last this week.

8) Purdue- Purdue returned to its non-scoring way against Michigan State this week, only getting a late touchdown to lose 21-7. I have nothing humorous to say about Purdue.

9) Michigan- Huge win for Michigan! So big that they get to move pretty much nowhere in the Power Rankings. The ball finally bounced their way; in other words, Nick Sheridan's passes were bouncing off defenders' chests instead of being intercepted.

10) Wisconsin- I'm not feeling much love or admiration for Wisconsin at this point. But here is a gem via Awful Announcing that shows the fall Wisconsin has taken and the IQ it takes to get in the booth: "You know, I think this is a sign of the Big 10 being better than everyone thinks it is, when Wisconsin, a top 10 team before the season started, being at the bottom of the conference." - Dave Pasch

11) Indiana- The Hoosiers are ranked below Dave Pasch. That's okay, because Kelvin Sampson just called to tell me basketball is starting up!

Big Ten Power Rankings

1) Penn State- No game this week for Penn State and since I'm not a voter in the Coaches' Poll, they don't fall any spots.

2) Ohio State- Also no game this week. So lazy.

3) Michigan State- What a win against Wisconsin. Sure, the Badgers performed another late game meltdown, but that was supposed to be the Spartans' job. At 8-2, Sparty should finish 9-3 and play lose in a New Year's Day bowl.

4) Northwestern- The mobile Mike Kafka was just what Northwestern needed to beat Minnesota Saturday. Well, that and a shocking interception return for a touchdown in the last minute. It was a huge win, as the Wildcats have a couple of tough games left on the schedule against OSU and Illinois.

5) Minnesota- The Gophers were on their way to a possible 11-1 finish. A home win against Northwestern would have given them a great chance, but Adam Weber chucked an interception while trying to drive for a game winning field goal and a couple of deflections later, they lost. Who knows how different the season would be if they took a knee.

6) Illinois- It wasn't the statement win that fans were looking for against Iowa, but Saturday the Illini moved closer to a bowl bid. This week against Western Michigan should be better. The Illini need to get their Zookiness back.

7) Iowa- The Hawkeyes almost scored a huge win at Illinois. This week they'll get the chance to make up for it with an even bigger upset when Penn State comes to town.

8) Wisconsin- What is it about Wisconsin in the fourth quarter this year? They gave Michigan its only win of the year in the conference, blew an upset bid against Ohio State, and up 11 against Michigan State they fell asleep and blew that one too. I guess it starts with the head coach, because you can't expect your team to keep it together while you're getting 15 yard penalties from the sideline.

9) Purdue- The hook and ladder was one of the best I've seen. Has to feel good for Tiller to grab a win against Michigan in his last season, no matter how bad the Wolverines are.

10) Michigan- Oh man, this year is not going well. The offense finally showed some life with 42 points, but when the defense gives up almost 300 passing yards to a backup running back, you suck.

11) Indiana- Here they are! The Hoosiers lost to Central Michigan this week. Indiana is really bad at football.

Big Ten Power Rankings

1) Penn State- I don't see this one changing now that the Nittany Lions get a rest this week before going to Iowa and getting Indiana and MSU at home. Then again, I'm wrong a lot.

2) Ohio State- It has to feel bad for the Buckeyes to lose to PSU after all those guys passed up the NFL to win a national title. Especially when it was the freshman whose fumble was key in the loss. It has to feel bad for them, but the rest of us are free to rejoice.

3) Minnesota- This week I feel pretty good about Minnesota at third. I don't know why a road win at Purdue changed my mind, but damn it all they're 7-1. Look the hell out Alamo Bowl, Goldy Gopher is comin'!

4) Michigan State- Oh Sparty, how you make us laugh. The win this weekend was big for MSU, but I don't think a win against a 2-6 team justifies billboard trash talk and t-shirts. Anyway, Wisconsin at home will test the hangover this weekend.

5) Iowa- The Hawkeyes were idle last weekend; good strategy to move up the Power Rankings. Wisconsin's win over Illinois makes Iowa's beatdown of UW look more impressive. Shonn Greene for President! He's a running back!

6) Illinois- I caught most of the first half of the Illinois-Wisconsin game Saturday and figured the Illini would stop pummelling themselves and take over. Didn't happen. Time to bounce back. Look, Iowa is ahead of you in the rankings! They're laughing down at you. You going to take that?

7) Northwestern- Man, if there weren't some awful teams down there I would have dropped Northwestern much lower. A loss to Indiana? There are Indiana jokes, bad ones, in this feature every week! Not the kind of performance the Wildcats needed going into a stretch against Minnesota, Ohio State, Michigan, and Illinois. Or was it?

8) Wisconsin- The Badgers finally got a win in the Big Ten against Illinois this week. With four winnable games left, Wisconsin still has a good shot at 8-4. Not a good year for Wisconsin. Their parents wish they were more like their older brother.

9) Michigan- The defense was supposed to keep games close while the offense progressed. The offense hasn't progressed and the defense can't tackle.

10) India...just kidding, it's Purdue- Injuries and dissention among the players have plagued Joe Tiller's final season. Five straight losses now has everyone looking forward to an epic match-up on November 22nd with.....

11) Indiana- Yep, Purdue and Indiana. November 22nd ladies and gents. I'm trying to come up with a catchy name worthy of ESPN. So far it's "The Game to Forget in West Lafayette". Don't worry, it'll get better.

Big Ten Power Rankings

1) Penn State- Clarke and Royster continue to impress as PSU finally snapped that losing streak against Michigan. We'll see if they can deal with some other demons this week when they try and win at Ohio State. And I'm not referring to Buckeye fans.

2) Ohio State- Hey look, it's number one vs. number two this week. Please God, if you can spare any time from helping the Rays and Bills, don't let Ohio State win this week. Try and remember all the good things Joe Pa did during the crusades.

3) Minnesota- Woooo! Minnesota. Don't rip me too bad for this one. There is just no one else deserving of this spot. Actually rip me to shreds, this is ridiculous. However, the Gophers are 6-1 with Purdue, Northwestern, Michigan, Wisconsin, and Iowa left. How did this happen?

4) Michigan State- Oh, you heard that talk about no one deserving #3 Michigan State? Yes, I was talking about you. No one is allowed to lose 45-7 at home and hang around in the power rankings. Those are the rules, I didn't make them up, I just enforce them. Actually, I make them up.

5) Illinois- Scary good offense, scary bad defense. I may be overrating the Illini here, but I think they can outscore just about everyone the rest of the way.

6) Northwestern- The Wildcats passed a huge test this weekend. Sure, Purdue is not a great team, and of course Northwestern students are good at tests, but Northwestern needed to show it could bounce back. The win sets them up for a great chance to go 8-4 or even 9-3 on the year.

7) Iowa- The Hawkeyes dismantled Wisconsin Saturday, beating the Badgers at their own game. Back to back tests against Illinois and Penn State will be huge...losses.

8) Purdue- Purdue is one of three winless teams in the conference, but Tiller's squad has a pretty easy slate the rest of the way. We'll see if they can send Wilford Brimley Joe Tiller out with a win streak.

9) Michigan- Michigan moves up a spot after a 46-17 loss. That's what happens in an underachieving, embarrassing conference. Speaking of embarrassing, a loss this week sends Michigan's season firmly into that category.

10) Wisconsin- What a giant disappointment this season has been. The Big Ten looked like a three team race, but Wisconsin couldn't even find the starting blocks. The Badgers are 0-4 in the league and with Illinois and Michigan State still on the schedule, they could miss a bowl.

11) Indiana- Thinking about just substituting "Indiana" for the number eleven.

Big Ten Power Rankings

1) Penn State- Ooohhh, tough night game at Wisconsin. Shit bitch, Joe Pa doesn't even remember what happened, but Penn State killed 'em 48-7. Is it time to start talking about Derrick Williams for Heisman?

2) Ohio State- Can't wait until the big match-up in two weeks when Ohio State travels to Penn State. The Bucks shouldn't look past MSU though, but it's not like anything bad has happened when they've look past MSU before. Right?

3) Michigan State- Ugh. I hate putting the Spartans here. I really don't think they are this good, but there isn't much I can do when they keep on winning games.

4) Minnesota- Whaaaa? No, that's it: Whaaaaa?

5) Illinois- The Illini should still be one of the most feared teams in the conference. Juice Williams is putting up ridiculous numbers keeping the offense flowing. Sure the defense is shaky, but Illinois will outscore you. Not you Minnesota. Not you Penn State.

6) Northwestern- The Wildcats would have kept it close with Michigan State, but for some turnovers. Why do people say this? Aren't we just saying "except for sucking, they were awesome"?

7) Wisconsin- The Badgers don't have a win in the Big Ten yet. So much for preseason contender.

8) Iowa- Impressive showing this past weekend. It was against Indiana, but anytime Iowa scores over 40 points these days, it was a phenomenal game.

9) Purdue- Two weeks in a row the Boilermakers have played top teams tough (PSU, OSU). Either they're improving, or teams are just bored beating them.

10) Michigan- Before you laugh too hard Penn State fans, remember this. And this. But, when you lose to Toledo you get to be last in the Big Ten power rankings.

11) Indiana- Unless there are 11 teams and one of them is Indi-frickin-ana.

Big Ten Power Rankings

1) Penn State- The Nittany Lions are ranked sixth in the nation, but it's time for the big run in the schedule. At Wisconsin this week, then Michigan at home, and at Ohio State. Those are two of the toughest places to play in the conference sandwiching a game against a team they haven't beaten in about a decade. Time to see what they're all about.

2) Ohio State- Huge win for the Buckeyes under the lights in Madison. Pryor and Wells look unstoppable in the backfield. Only freshman mistakes, which seem few and far between, from Pryor can hold them down. Or another injury to Wells.

3) Illinois- The offense hasn't been the problem this year for the Illini. A sputtering Michigan offense was just what the defense needed to gain some confidence, now Illinois has a couple games before they travel to Wisconsin for a giant match-up.

4) Wisconsin- The Badgers have dropped two close games in a row and things don't get easier with Penn State on its way into town. That's okay, in a few weeks the tough games are over and Wisconsin can go back to smashing inferior opponents. Cheap shot there, look for the upset this week over PSU.

5) Michigan State- Sparty is ranked in the top 25 after a scare from Iowa. I still have no respect for this team, but it's all about wins and losses and here are the Spartans. Don't sleep on Northwestern this week in East Lansing.

6) Northwestern- The Wildcats are also ranked coming into the game with Michigan State Saturday. Seniors C.J. Bacher and Tyrell Sutton are leading the way.

7) Michigan- Horrible showing at home against Illinois. If this offense puts up 20 points, the defense has to keep them close; didn't happen last week.

8) Purdue- When only losing 20-6 at home is a good thing, you're not that good.

9) Minnesota- The Gophers beat Indiana 16-7 Saturday and they're 5-1 with winnable games against Purdue, Northwestern, Michigan, and Iowa left.

10) Iowa- The Hawkeyes almost got the Spartans Saturday, but a terrible decision on 4th and 1 late cost them the game. Remember when NFL teams wanted Kirk Ferentz?

11) Indiana- Awful.

Big Ten Power Rankings

Here we go, first stab at the Big Ten Power Rankings. Keep in mind, I don't care where these teams are ranked, or how many games they have lost. I'm looking for which team I would least want to play this week, and they're number one. Well, I wouldn't want to play any of them as that would surely end up in broken bones for me. Anyway, let's get it on.

1) Penn State- No love from me for the Nittany Lions so far this year. Maybe it's because I think their name is gay, but really it has to do with Anthony Morelli. Despite acknowledging that he was the MVP for many of PSU's opposing teams the past few years, I totally underestimated how much Penn State would improve with anyone better than my six year old cousin at QB. Penn State is rolling and they're number one.

2) Ohio State- Ugh. Hate the Buckeyes, but here they are. Actually, anywhere other than the top spot should be a huge disappointment for those sporting Buckstasches this year. Everyone is back, and all they have accomplished is beating a FCS team, getting embarrassed by USC, and unconvincingly beating three teams they should have demolished.

3) Wisconsin- Really? After last week? Yes. Wisconsin will still figure prominently in the Big Ten race. They don't have a choice with the Bucks coming to town this week. The home game will help a lot, but Beckum will need to play a much bigger role.

4) Illinois- So the top four teams aren't much different than I would have guessed. Illinois is getting too much bad press for losing to the #3 and #6 teams in the nation. Sure, their other wins have not been that impressive, but this is a good team.

5) Northwestern- Seniors are very important in college football. This team has too many of them to take lightly. Plus, 5-0.

6) Michigan- Huge win last week where the veteran defense looked as good as promised. Too much talent in Ann Arbor to take this team lightly.

7) Michigan State- Ooooh, the Spartans have a good record entering October. How come people don't notice that this happens every year. Ringer is a stud, but is being overworked.

8) Minnesota- I'm surprised how well this team has played this season. They looked decent at Ohio State and that'll give the Gophers some confidence moving forward.

9) Purdue- Bad loss to Notre Dame makes me wonder what the hell they were doing against Oregon.

10) Iowa- I should have known how bad a loss to Dave Wannstedt really was.

11) Indiana- Gross. Hey, why are there eleven?