Monday, December 8, 2008

Moronic Chicago Sports Injuries Part XXIVIIXMCII

The worst feeling in the world as a sports fan is when a player on your favorite team goes down with an injury. What's worse than that? When a player is hurt with an injury that is either stupid or an obvious lie. Derrick Rose now joins that pantheon of great Chicago sports heroes that have been hurt in ridiculous injuries. The Chicago Sun-Times is reporting that:
A sheepish Rose explained why he needed 10 stitches to close a gash under the elbow on his left forearm, a self-inflicted injury sustained in bed from a knife he used to slice an apple.

‘‘Silly accident this morning,’’ Rose said, standing before a a large throng of media. ‘‘I went to get a bottle of water, forgot the knife was there, and sat down and sliced my arm.’’

I'm not sure why he left his apple-slicing knife in his bed, or what he was doing slicing apples in his bed in the first place, but thank god the injury isn't serious. This is not the first or last stupid injury in Chicago sports. Other notable ones that spring to mind are:

  • Carlos Zambrano uses the internet so much he develops carpal tunnel syndrome. He claimed he was emailing his brother for 5 hours a day. Everyone knows he was looking at porno. Oh and remember when he was drinking too much caffeine and had to come out early of a couple starts for being dehydrated? No one ever argued baseball players were athletes I guess.
  • Sammy Sosa sneezes and throws out his back.
  • Carlos Quentin in anger slams his bat down, breaking his wrist. He missed the entire end of a possible MVP season
  • Kerry Wood slips and falls getting in a hot tub and breaks his ribs.
  • Horace Grant had numerous injuries that were minor and possibly made up. My favorite was when he missed 10 games with a hangnail.
  • After a shooting session at the gun range with FBI officials, Olin Kreutz and Fred Miller attended an FBI sponsored BBQ where Kreutz punched Miller in the face. He missed only one game with stitches in his jaw
  • [From the comments and elsewhere] Aaron Rowand's dirt bike accident, Jay Williams' motorcycle accident, Moises Alou falling off a treadmill, Felix Pie's twisted testicle, Brian Randle punching the gym wall
I'm sure there are other great Chicago sports injuries I'm missing; feel free to write them in the comments and I will add them to this post. Really? You peel apples with a knife in your bed? I mean we all do stupid things when we are young, but this seems extraordinarily odd.


Bitternutz said...

Lets not forget when Aaron Rowand broke some ribs and his wrist in a dirt bike accident during the off-season

Anonymous said...

Mike Brown's whole bears career has been a series of stupid injuries

newman said...

Brian Randle punching the gym wall which eventually cost the illini the title. Could have used a little help from the defensive specialist against NC...

cubfan430 said...

kyle farnsworth getting in a fight with a fan in the dugout and losing

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