Yeah, Yeah, Derrick Rose Got Hurt But What I Really Want To Know Is Where I Can Get a Ben Wallace Bulls Jersey

In a Sun-Times boardroom, the following conversation takes place:

Sun-Times advertising executive: Ok guys, how can we lure people into our fan shop to buy Chicago sports merchandise?

Other advertising exec: We should probably prominently display some merchandise of popular players in Chicago right now, like Derrick Rose or Kyle Orton jerseys.

Sun-Times advertising executive: That sounds like a great idea. Ok get those nerds in IT to put the ad banner up above certain stories in the sports section of the websi---

Random Shitty Consultant: Wait wait! That will never work. Here's what you need to do. No one is going to want to buy current, relevant merchandise, you need to go old school!

Sun-Times advertising executive: What do you have in mind?

Random Shitty Consultant: Ben Wallace jerseys. Think about it, people have always loved Big Ben in Chicago, why not lure them in with the promise of 4 points and 8 rebounds a game and we will only charge them $15 million a year?

Sun-Times advertising executive: Brilliant!

While this conversation may be made up, I'm not sure exactly how else this could have been displayed on the Sun-Times website:


I wonder if they're selling David Wells or Ron Mercer jerseys. I bet those things just fly off the shelves.