Lovie Smith's A Series Of Unfortunate Events Starring Ron Turner, Bob Babich, and The Bears Secondary

It would be foolish for me to blame the entire Bears loss on a one minute long momentum swing, but its hard not too. The series of events that changed the game:

• The Bears are up 7-3
  
• Benny Sapp personal foul keeps Bears drive alive
• Bears get the ball to the 1 yard line
• Bears cannot punch it in on 3 tries (highlighted by Ron Turner's old favorite, the fullback handoff. I don't think anyone ever sees that coming)
• Lovie inexplicably decides to go for it instead of kicking the field goal and taking a 10-3 lead. The Bears cannot convert and the Vikings take over at their 1-yard line
  
• Gus Frerrote throws a 99-yard pass to Bernard Berrian. A thin and possibly handicapped secondary (there has to be some explanation for how badly coverage broke down on this play) gets shredded for a touchdown.
• Bears are now down 10-7 and Minnesota doesn't look back

That was the worst game in the world, possibly on a par with the Green Bay loss. I literally could not find anything to be happy about. Orton had 3 picks, the receivers must have greased up their hands before the game, the run defense and the pass defense were horrendous, on special teams we couldn't get anything going, the list goes on and on.

I also want to know who called the fullback handoff, like literally the name. Was it Turner? Lovie? Who? I want to throw a brick through their window. You know what the worst part about this is long term? Adrian Peterson. We will never beat the Vikings so long as that guy is around. He is so filthy and we can do nothing to stop him. I'm disgusted.