Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Urlacher Tries To Make His Son Gay

I feel speechless right now. I mean Joe Namath wore panty hose and a fur coat, sure, but this somehow feels different. The papers are reporting that Brian Urlacher has been using some interesting techniques to raise his son:

Football tough guy Brian Urlacher dresses his son in pink Cinderella diapers and paints the 3-year-old's toenails blue, the child's mother charged in Will County court Tuesday.

The mother, Tyna Robertson, threatened to block Urlacher from seeing the boy if the beefy linebacker keeps it up.

Urlacher's attorney, Anita Ventrelli, filed a motion trying to stop Robertson from keeping 3-year-old Kennedy away from Urlacher.

After the hearing, Robertson claimed her son has become confused by the toenail panting and wearing pull-ups designed for little girls.

"He pulls down his pants and says, 'Mommy, look how pretty they are,' " she said.

Robertson also said Kennedy told her, "Big boys paint their nails," and said he refused to take a bath for two days to keep the blue polish on his nails from washing off.

"He'd say, 'Mommy, I don't want to get my nails wet. I don't want to mess them up,'" she said. "It took two hours to get him in the bath."

I can tell you one thing for certain about Urlacher's son: he is not going to be a professional football player. I'm thinking more like ballerina. On the other hand, we've heard from the mother of Urlacher's kid before, and she's not exactly a girl scout. As long as Urlacher steps it up on the defense, I don't really care about how he raises his kid (does that make me a bad person? yup).

1 comment:

Hugging Harold Reynolds said...

seriously though this was a joke. wow.

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