Monday, September 22, 2008

Bears Lacking in the "Artillery" Department


Bring back the Cannon!!!

If I'm going to watch the Bears lose, it better come with a side of hilarity in the form of the Sex Cannon. Orton is just so boring. Sure, he'll make a good throw now and then, but where are the interceptions twenty yards over the nearest receiver? Where are the fumbles that leave you in suspense during the first couple and rolling in laughter after the next three?

Seriously, I don't need to watch the Bears put up 17 points per week with the defense and special teams setting them all up and no Cannonage in the offense. We can watch Orton throw screen passes to defensive ends or Sexy Rexy sling bombs to safeties turned punt returners. Personally, I don't see a debate.

Bring back the Cannon and put the funniliungus back in the Bears offense.

2 comments:

Stormin' Norman Disciple said...

The team is not there for your entertainment; they are there to win football games. I'm not sure what that means for your call for Rex.

real stadiums have roofs said...

if at some point you decide to read the post, i believe that the point is that right now, not only are they not entertaining, but they aren't winning either. the bears, no, make we as a country, need someone who has the courage to say, "fuck it, i'm throwing it downfield." bring back the sex cannon.

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