Scariest Looking Chicago Athletes

In honor of Halloween, I'm going to post pictures of the scariest looking Chicago Athletes I can think of. This is current and all-time. If you guys can think of any other better ones link me to the picture and I'll include it. Cue scary music.

You Don't Want This Nickname and Neither Does Drew Gooden

The saga of Drew Gooden's hair has been well-documented here on NQTC. I bet $20 on him to beat DeShawn Stevenson in that stupid beard bet and I lost. Anyways, the Drew Gooden saga continues, this time we find out he used to have a very very sad nickname before he shaved the whole top of his head (this obviously does not apply to his face as pictured here):

Drew’s working with limited real estate, after all, considering his head is basically out of play. (And he had to shave the head — no choice there. There’s a reason his nickname used to be “Recede Wallace.” Oops, Drew’s gonna kill me for putting that out there.)

Apparently he calls his new goatee "the Johnny" referring to Johnny Depp's facial hair from Pirates of the Carribean. What a weirdo.

Bears Fun With Urban Dictionary

I tried this with the Cubs and it turned out pretty funny, so lets see how it goes with the Bears. Urban Dictionary is a great website. It is basically like wikipedia in that it is user generated, but the difference is it is for slang or "urban" words. Anyways, I decided to see how people "defined" certain Bears players, and I found some pretty funny ones. My favorite part is the italics, where the word is used in a sentence. Enjoy.

Orton-

A really disgusting sexual move where the man uses his penis to caress his own mouth to "turn on" a pig. Technically known as doing the orton.

"I just did this sick orton maaaaaaaaaan!!!!, because the pig was annoying me!"


Lance Briggs-

Dopey Chicago Bear that the Bears put the franchise tag on, so he threatened to hold out the season on the advice of his agent, who took the fight to the press. He eventually signed a one year deal instead of the multi-year guaranteed money deal he wanted. Subsequently he crashed his Lamborgdini at 3 AM and fled the scene. It would have been ironic if he would had a career ending injury, because the Bears wouldn't have been on the hook for the multi year deal.

Lance Briggs almost pulled a Ben Rothslenberger.


Rex Grossman-

1. To choke in the clutch, big game, under deadlines. To suck.

You sure did a Rex Grossman on that project Frank; you're fired.

2. A very slow spin move in Madden, used mostly by a QB.

"Shit dude, you just pulled a Rex Grossman."


Robbie Gould-

	adequentally and equally known as RFG. RFG is the kicker for the chicago bears, is the second coming of god, known for his 69 yard field goal in triple overtime from 1 leg with his eyes closed! oo yea and left footed. Robbie Fucking Gould is AMAZING is actually better then devin hester. not really "rfg is god and robbie gould"

Thank you Urban Dictionary for hours of fun. I'll run one of these on the Bulls soon. Lets just hope the Sex Cannon doesn't do an Orton on RFG. I don't know what that means either.

Samurai Mike Uses Bare Ass as Motivational Tool

Mike Singletary, the new head coach of the San Francisco 49ers, has had a memorable start to his career. To recap his short stint: He sent Vernon Davis to the showers in the middle of a game, gave a fiery post-game speech, and delivered a memorable post-game press conference. Well the fun is just beginning apparently, as stories have begun to leak about his halftime motivational speech to the players last week:

Singletary's halftime speech to the team included the fledgling head coach dropping his pants, showing the players his bare ass, and pointing to it, apparently as a visual aid to display Singletary's belief that the team was getting its ass kicked.

According to the reports, Singletary then addressed the team for three or four minutes with his pants around his ankles.

His eyes have always instilled fear in the hearts of his opponents, but if the ass of the starting middle linebacker of the greatest team in NFL history can't motivate his own team, the 9ers are a lost cause.

Today's Links

• As always, the Thursday Dick Joke Jamboroo will make you laugh. Don't let that crazy Nazi Shark get you.
• Some quick notes on the Tampa 2 (Cover 2) defense run by the Bears AND the Lions.
• The Sox sign career minor-leaguer Jayson Nix. I didn't think it was a big deal, but the die-hard White Sox fans at the Dong seemed to think so.
• Top Ten Cubs offseason moves. Decent list, once again I don't agree on all of it.
• Interesting logic about why the Sun-Times circulation has gone up recently. (Hint: it involves our good friend Jay Mariotti)
• Brewers hire Ken Macha. Everyone can breath easy...Brenly is going to stay in Chicago.
• If you're an NBA fan and you're not reading Ball Don't Lie, you're missing out. Co-Contributor Kelly Dwyer is a huge Chicago fan and covers the Bulls as well as anyone.
• Comparing NBA players to Nintendo characters. My favorite: Vince Carter as the Princess.
  

Make it Stop!

Sports coverage has changed significantly in our lifetime. A lot of it has been good, but there are some things that have gone horribly wrong. Every week I'll be taking a little time to whine about one of these things with no hope whatsoever that anything will change.

I'm admittedly no expert when it comes to critiquing the media. However, it doesn't take an expert to figure out that a Gilbert Brown body fat-like percentage of what is on television sucks. I don't need to be an expert to watch an episode of Sportscenter or read something in the sports section and think to myself "who really cares about this?"

Well here and now is where I grab my e-megaphone and complain to all (six) of you about some topic the sports media is covering that should be beaten to death with a tire iron.

So today, I'll pick what I consider one of the most egregious practices of ESPN and Sportscenter. "Dancing With the Stars" does not belong on your network. No one cares if Emmitt Smith and Jeff Garcia just need to dance. Charles Rogers is working at a 7-11 somewhere and I'm not seeing any special features on serving Big Gulps or stocking shelves.

I understand that the show is on ABC and through the miracle of media synergy, you feel obliged to help Walt Disney out and give 'em some pub. You know what else is on ABC sometimes? F*^$ing sports! Why don't we try covering those thoroughly before moving on to reality shows?

Now I don't watch a ton of Sportscenter anymore, I can get my sports news from legitimate sources, like Deadspin and other sites that feature crass language and pictures of cheerleaders; but when I was watching recently and saw a teaser for a "Dancing With the Stars" update after the break, I was frighteningly close to requiring a change of shorts.

Unless some NFL player was arrested for stalking one of the dancers, or they actually made Emmitt Smith talk on the show, then this is an abomination. It seems like we used to get at least 15-20 seconds of highlights on every game played the night before, and while the six segments per show talking about the Pats and Cowboys is a topic for another week, eliminating this ridiculous coverage could at least give us a few more seconds of actual sports.

Your Week Ten Big....Ten Preview

Too many tens. All the Big Ten games will be done by around 6 PM this week. No games in prime time, because there aren't any games worthy of prime time. We'll give the game of the week nod to Wisconsin at Michigan State. The Spartans have fallen to self-inflicted late season doom every year in recent memory and this game against Wisconsin has the potential to send them down the same path. A week after their self-proclaimed epic victory over Michigan, a team with an actual physical presence comes to town. Wisconsin has their own issues though. Just a couple weeks ago the Badgers gave up about 740 yards to Iowa's Shonn Greene. You know that Sparty is going to pound Javon Ringer, the key to the game will be Wisconsin's improvement stopping the run.

Northwestern at Minnesota is the next best game of the week. See what I'm talking about? Actually, this match-up is somewhat intriguing. What are Minnesota and Northwestern doing near the top of the conference? Will the Iowa-beating Northwestern show up or will it be the team that handed Indiana a win last week? How in holy hell is Minnesota near the top of the conference? Check Lake The Posts for good info on both teams leading up to the game. Bacher is questionable and Sutton is out for NW, but as we saw last week, the conference is so unpredictable this season.

Illinois will try to bounce back from the loss at Wisconsin last week when they host Iowa in the lone 2:30 start of the week in the Big Ten. Iowa had the week off to prepare for the Illini, but the Hawkeyes struggled with the spread last time they faced it in a loss to Northwestern. The attack the Illini bring is significantly different from Northwestern's but I expect Illinois to move the ball just as well and match or surpass the 38 points the Wildcats pinned on Iowa.

Purdue will try to get its first Big Ten win this year as Michigan comes to town. Quarterback Curtis Painter is questionable and Purdue's backup QB is out, meaning that Justin Siller could see a lot of playing time again this week. Siller was a running back a few weeks ago.

Indiana plays host to Central Michigan. Picks?

God, really?

Central Michigan 28 - Indiana 24
Michigan 20 - Purdue 14
Iowa 31 - Illinois 42
Northwestern 17 - Minnesota 24
Wisconsin 27 - Michigan State 31

Weekly Fantasy Roundup: Bench/Start Week 9

BENCH

QB Brett Favre (Jets) – Matt Millen’s new best friend has been flat out awful the past three weeks, throwing a combined seven interceptions (and only three TD passes) against the Bengals, Raiders, and Chiefs in weeks 6, 7, and 8. After struggling against some of the NFL’s worst pass defenses, Favre and the Jets head to Buffalo to take on the underrated 5-2 Bills. The future hall of famer has been frustrating fantasy owners with his questionable decision making, and if you have other options, it wouldn’t be crazy to sit #4. They (The Weather Channel) are predicting strong winds for this division battle, another reason why you might want to consider letting Favre ride the pine this week. He may get upset, but you need to do what’s best for your team.

WR Terrell Owens (Cowboys) – Drew Rosenhaus’ favorite client has also been struggling of late, averaging only 33.3 receiving yards per game the past three weeks. After hauling in three TD passes in his first two games, Owens has scored only twice during the past six weeks. TO has not totaled more than 89 receiving yards in any game so far this season, and now has to face the dreaded Giants secondary in Week 9. The Super Bowl champs are only allowing 185 passing yards per game, and with Tony Romo expected out again, you might want to think about leaving Owens on your bench come Sunday, even if he starts to cry.

RB Jamal Lewis (Browns) – This former inmate has been extremely mediocre so far in 2008, and I would highly suggest leaving him on your bench this week when he goes up against his former team on Sunday. The Ravens are allowing a league low 64.3 rushing yards per game and have only allowed one rushing TD in their first seven games. Lewis has also yet to rush for over 100 yards in any game so far this season. When you take all of this into account, things don’t look very promising for the Browns RB in Week 9.

START

QB Marc Bulger (Rams) - This former Pro Bowl MVP came out of nowhere to throw for 300+ yards last week at New England. Bulger simply sucks on the road – there’s no other way to put it – so the fact that he was able to put together a solid game away from The Edwards Jones Dome could be a sign of things to come. Bulger and the Rams get to face off against a Cardinals secondary allowing more than 220 yards per game through the air and a league worst 14 passing touchdowns. With the emergence of rookie WR Donnie Avery in recent weeks, Bulger now has numerous weapons at his disposal, and seems primed to turn in what could be his best game of the season.

TE Donald Lee (Packers) – This might seem
like a questionable call, but Lee is almost for sure available in your league and could be on the verge of a breakout game. The Packers head to Tennessee to take on one of the NFL’s best defenses, but if you breakdown the numbers, the Titans have a hard time shutting down opposing TEs. They allowed Dallas Clark to put up a nasty stat line of seven grabs for 94 yards and 2 TDs on MNF in Week 8 and allowed Tony Gonzalez to catch six passes for 97 yards the week before. For those of you in need of a TE this week, take a chance on Donald Lee and get him in your lineup.

RB Justin Fargas (Raiders) – Darren McFadden is expected to sit out again in Week 9, which means that Fargas once again gets the entire Oakland halfback job to himself. He didn’t do too much with the opportunity last week against the Ravens, but Atlanta is an entirely different story. The Falcons are allowing 128.6 rushing yards per game, and have allowed nine rushing TDs in only 7 games. If the multi-talented Fargas (aka Young Hugg) is available in your league, snatch him up and listen to his beats while he leads your team to victory.

Big Diesel Gets Punked

The Big Moron (aka Shaq) was up to his usual tricks this preseason, mostly spouting off at the mouth like an idiot. He was bitching about Gregg Popovich utilizing the Hack-a-Shaq strategy in the Suns-Spurs playoff series last year by threatening Pop:

When you're down, I can see using that as a strategy. But when you're up 10, 15 points, there's really no need for that. That's a coward move. And he knows that. I'll make 'em pay for that.

Well the joke's on you Shaq:



Yup, that's Finley fouling Shaq 5 seconds into the game. Who says Popovich doesn't have a sense of humor?

Today's Links

• Phillies win the World Series. Took 'em long enough. Boooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
• Hugging Harold Reynolds needs a hug more than ever. The tale of an exiled Cubs fan.
• Hey, we haven't heard from John Daly in a while. No, wait!
• Top Ten Chicago Sports has the list of Chicago athletes that would kick ass in the UFC. Great list, especially numbers eight and one.
• I hereby warn you that this is gross and disturbing. Houston player breaks leg. Oh, snap!

Another Example of Michael Jordan and John Paxson's Great Chemistry

This video is an interview with pornstar Kylie Ireland about a night in 1993 when MJ was in Denver playing the Nuggets. Not only did he sleep with this woman, but he got a little "assist" from his wingman, John Paxson.



My favorite things about the video:
1) Apparently she got permission from her then-husband to sleep with MJ. My girlfriend wouldn't even have to ask me, she would know the answer was yes.
2) They hopped into Ireland's De La Soul. I forgot all about that little car. How did he fit in there?
3) The best part of the story is that Jordan, after realizing he didn't have protection, made a call. Who came to the rescue to slip a rubber under the door? None other than John Paxson. That assist should count in his 1993 season statistics.

Chicago's West Side Immune to Suicide

I have to be honest, I haven't followed this business with Isiah and an alleged overdose closely. It started on Friday with reports that someone had been taken in an ambulance from Isiah's home with an apparent overdose. Was it Isiah? Was it his daughter? Was it Rick Mahorn? Who knows.

However, one thing is certain: Isiah did not attempt suicide. Why? Isiah's friend and former teammate Mark Aguirre has the answer.

"We grew up on the West Side of Chicago," Aguirre said. "Ain't no more down than that . . . You'd never get me to believe that, not the way we fought all our lives just to survive."

There you have it folks. Don't want to commit suicide? Worried you might commit suicide? Move to the West Side of Chicago and test your will to live. Hell, I'm thinking about getting on the Belmont bus tonight and seeing where I stand.

Bears-Lions Preview

This Bears-Lions Preview was written by NQTC reader Ethan. Thanks go out to Ethan for allowing me to be lazy and not write this.

You know how teams have “bulletin board material” to psyche them up before games? Well, I wonder if this week, Lovie can put “1-15” on the board to instill fear in the hearts of the Bears players that they may give the Lions their one win on the season. When you look at the Lions’ remaining schedule, consider the fact that they suck more than usual with one of their top players just having been shipped to Dallas, and look at their pretend “NFL QBs” they have on their roster, an 0-16 season is not out of the realm of possibility. The Bears do not want to be the team to destroy that dream.

Things to note this week against the Lions:

• I don’t know Orton’s career highs, but you have to imagine that he set them in Week 5 at Detroit. He was 24 for 34 in completions (70.6%), threw for 334 yards, and had a QB rating of 121.4. I would not be surprised if all of those are career highs for KO, and I would not be surprised to see him surpass some of these this week.


• Nathan Vasher may be returning this week from his wrist injury. Although many rumors have swirled about him losing his starting job to Corey Graham, Vasher insists in today’s Tribune that his “track record” should be enough for him to take back the starting job on returning to 100% health. All I know is that the Bears secondary will not be hurt by Vasher’s return.
  


• In Week 5, the Bears held the Lions to 131 total yards on their home turf. This week, the Bears get Vasher back (mentioned above), and are with Tommie Harris, who was suspended during the prior matchup. If the Bears D is returning to the vicious unit that we know they can be, the lions may be looking at only two digits in their total yardage. Did I mention that either Dan Orlovsky or Drew Stanton is playing QB for the Lions?
  


• Soon-to-be mega-superstar first round pick Chris Williams may be making his NFL debut, not that the O-Line seems to need him this season. Are they playing better than expected or what?
  


• The lighting is way different outdoors – how will Orlovsky know where the out-of-bounds lines are?
  

To sum it up, the Lions suck. My prediction: Bears 34 – Lions 13.

Don't rip the tags off that Griffey Jersey!

Sorry to all you White Sox fans that bought Griffey gear this season, and to all of you that were so excited to have him around. According to an SI.com report, the White Sox will not try to re-sign the 38-year-old outfielder.

Griffey's run with the Sox lasted 41 games. The move was pretty much expected, as Griffey was going to look around in the free agent signing period anyway.

Also for the Sox, there are rumblings about a Konerko for Figgins trade with the Angels. With Konerko's no-trade clause, this deal would have a long way to go, but he has shown interest in LA before.

Big Ten Power Rankings

1) Penn State- I don't see this one changing now that the Nittany Lions get a rest this week before going to Iowa and getting Indiana and MSU at home. Then again, I'm wrong a lot.

2) Ohio State- It has to feel bad for the Buckeyes to lose to PSU after all those guys passed up the NFL to win a national title. Especially when it was the freshman whose fumble was key in the loss. It has to feel bad for them, but the rest of us are free to rejoice.

3) Minnesota- This week I feel pretty good about Minnesota at third. I don't know why a road win at Purdue changed my mind, but damn it all they're 7-1. Look the hell out Alamo Bowl, Goldy Gopher is comin'!

4) Michigan State- Oh Sparty, how you make us laugh. The win this weekend was big for MSU, but I don't think a win against a 2-6 team justifies billboard trash talk and t-shirts. Anyway, Wisconsin at home will test the hangover this weekend.

5) Iowa- The Hawkeyes were idle last weekend; good strategy to move up the Power Rankings. Wisconsin's win over Illinois makes Iowa's beatdown of UW look more impressive. Shonn Greene for President! He's a running back!

6) Illinois- I caught most of the first half of the Illinois-Wisconsin game Saturday and figured the Illini would stop pummelling themselves and take over. Didn't happen. Time to bounce back. Look, Iowa is ahead of you in the rankings! They're laughing down at you. You going to take that?

7) Northwestern- Man, if there weren't some awful teams down there I would have dropped Northwestern much lower. A loss to Indiana? There are Indiana jokes, bad ones, in this feature every week! Not the kind of performance the Wildcats needed going into a stretch against Minnesota, Ohio State, Michigan, and Illinois. Or was it?

8) Wisconsin- The Badgers finally got a win in the Big Ten against Illinois this week. With four winnable games left, Wisconsin still has a good shot at 8-4. Not a good year for Wisconsin. Their parents wish they were more like their older brother.

9) Michigan- The defense was supposed to keep games close while the offense progressed. The offense hasn't progressed and the defense can't tackle.

10) India...just kidding, it's Purdue- Injuries and dissention among the players have plagued Joe Tiller's final season. Five straight losses now has everyone looking forward to an epic match-up on November 22nd with.....

11) Indiana- Yep, Purdue and Indiana. November 22nd ladies and gents. I'm trying to come up with a catchy name worthy of ESPN. So far it's "The Game to Forget in West Lafayette". Don't worry, it'll get better.

The Chicago Bulls: Where Low Expectations Lead To Happy Fans

Last night's Bulls game was up and down. I went to the game with my girlfriend and throughout the first half she kept asking me "Why do you seem mad? The Bulls are winning or at least keeping it close?" I was mad because nobody played any defense. Well that changed in the second half. Combine that with Gordon suddenly heating up (he has a tendency to do that at times), and you have the recipe for what turned out to be a 108-95 Bulls win. Here's a few observations from the game:

• Obviously Derrick rose is going to be bullet point numero uno. Statistically speaking, he had a decent game with 10 points and 9 assists. In the flow of the game though, he just did not look comfortable. He had 4 turnovers, which isn't terrible for a rookie, but that was not the problem. He was being extremely tentative with his shot and playing unselfishly to a fault. He needs to stick with what makes him great: attacking the basket. I also noticed the Bucks threw double and even triple teams at him to get the ball out of his hands. Although a few times he was able to find the open man, Skiles strategy worked for the most part. Lastly, the kid cannot play any defense. I shudder to think what's going to happen when the Chaunceys and Pauls come to town. (**UPDATE: This was way too harsh a review of Rose. He actually looked very solid for his NBA debut. I was just frustrated he wasn't attacking the basket more like he did in hte preseason)


• Bulls won fastbreak points 20-1. Vinny clearly had them running all game. It was very up-tempo and exciting. A new look for the Bulls.


• Rose-to-Skyrus alley-oop made the crowd go crazy. If Rose can find TT for those more it could be the next Paul-to-Chandler.


• Speaking of Tyrus, he had a double-double. He was knocking down that 15-17 footer consistently. If he can do that it will open up a lot of easy looks since defenders will have to respect his range. Also all those hours in the gym must have helped with free throws too. Even though he was only 5-8 from the line, there was a tangible difference in his form and shooting style. It felt like the free throws were going in every time.


• I can't imagine three guys I want to punch in the face more than the ridiculous Bucks coaching staff. Scott Skiles, Jim Boylan and Kelvin Sampson. The three stooges. I hope a piano falls on their heads.


• Tyrus got 41 minutes. 41 MINUTES! Don't you wonder if there were a few moments throughout the game where Skiles tried to pull TT just out of habit, then realized he was the Bucks coach so he pulled Villanueva instead (that guy is going to be Skiles new whipping boy for sure).


• Deng poured in 21 points while I wasn't looking again. It seems like he always does that. Except for one sweet dunk early, I don't remember him hitting more than a couple jumpers.


• Hinrich had a great game. He looked like his old self. He knocked down open Js and was able to set guys up for good shots.


• As a team the Bulls defense had some bad moments. The rotations were slow and the double teams did not come fast enough. Hopefully VDN can fix this.


• Quick Note on the Crowd: It was a pretty full house and any time Rose came in the game or touched the ball the energy level went way up. That being said, what is the deal with Bulls fans? I felt like I was the only one in the crowd into it. The only time people cheered was in the 4th quarter and when there was stupid bullshit entertainment during timeouts.


• Congrats to Vinny D on your first win. Not bad.

If you want to read some game recaps by people that know more than me check out this, this and/or this.

Today's Links

• Bulls pull away in the fourth to beat the Bucks. Rose solid, Gordon streaky, Skiles mad.
• Hillenmeyer has surgery on his thumb, but could be back for the Detroit game. Why bother?
• The Fridge is battling illness. When I was three, I wanted to name my sister The Refrigerator. True story.
• Winter Classic tickets are on sale to season-ticket holders now and soon to the public. So if you want to buy one and give it to me...
• Cubs have a tight budget for the off-season. Bail-out please! What to watch for from the Sox too.
• It's that time: God Jesus explains the week in the NFL. Look out Lions!

Fill In The Blank

We will be running a new feature on NQTC starting today. I'm not exactly sure how often I will run this, but basically I stole the idea from Ball Don't Lie's "Create-a-Caption". What happens is I will post a random picture I select, and you guys (the readers) create a funny caption for the photo. Post your caption ideas in the comments for this story and I will post the funniest caption under the picture at a later date. Here's the inaugural "Fill in the Blank".

Apparently Nocioni is screaming at a group of Milwaukee Bucks as he flies through traffic to do what he does best: Pass Shoot. Best caption wins a lock of his beautiful flowing hair.

Roy Williams is Hilarious

Yeah, yeah, he says a lot of dumb stuff. Often. However, this time Roy Williams came through with something truly hilarious. And by hilarious I'm talking about the way Jim Rome says it; emphasize that hilariousness Jimmy! Anyway, Roy gets an A+ for his Halloween costume.

Williams came dressed as former Lions running back Tatum Bell, who made national headlines two months ago when he was accused of pilfering the travel bags of Detroit running back Rudi Johnson. Williams was wearing a bellhop uniform with a big name tag that said "T. Bell.''

Everyone remembers Tatum Bell's tantrum when the Lions were courting former Bengals running back Rudi Johnson. Roy even texted Tatum Bell to make sure the costume was okay with him. Tatum apparently gave it the OK.

Well played Roy Williams.

Juice Doesn't Want You Getting Discouraged

Illinois Fighting Illini. Saturday, it was more than the name of a football team, it was an apt description of what was taking place on the field. With all due credit to Wisconsin, especially Sherer and Gilreath, Illinois beat itself Saturday.

Juice Williams tossed three interceptions, the Illini committed bad penalties, and made mental errors running routes and in the return game. But the Juice himself gave the remedy to get past the bad loss: just take a nap and when you wake up, you'll feel better.

"Don't get discouraged. We're still a pretty good team. We're still going to come out and fight for our year.''

After taking a nap on the plane back to Champaign, he said, he was ready to move on.

''You can't let it dictate the rest of the season,'' he said. ''After I woke up from the plane ride, I was fine.''

Williams and the Illini will have a good chance to get things going in the right direction when they take on Iowa this Saturday, followed by a MAC opponent in Western Michigan next week. So don't break out those Orange Krush shirts for basketball season just yet Illinois fans, the football team may have another special finish in store.

Richard Jefferson Won't Say Nocioni Is A Dirty Player, Then Calls Him A Dirty Player

In case you haven't heard, the Bucks play the Bulls tonight for the season opener. What makes this interesting are a few sub-plots that may create some good drama. The obvious storyline being Scott Skiles coming back to coach against his old team. Another story developing, however, is a rivalry between the players. During Friday's preseason game with the Bucks, Richard Jefferson committed a hard foul on Derrick Rose, causing him to miss the rest of the game with a hip flexor (no worries, he should be fine for tonight). A little later in the game, Nocioni proceeded to hack Jefferson across the arms. This led to an altercation involving Kirk Hinrich and Luke Ridnour. Was the foul meant as retaliation? R-Jeff thinks so:

“How long have you been following the Bulls? What type of player do you think Nocioni is?" Jefferson answered. "Don't ask me a question if you already know the answer."

“You know my take by the question I'm asking," he replied. "I know it's your job to ask questions, but that doesn't mean we have to answer them or we can't ask you questions. You could bait me into saying something stupid or talk trash. We've got to play them first game of the year. But you know the type of player Nocioni is, so let's leave it at that."

The only reason I want Nocioni to get minutes tonight is to piss off Jefferson. He's soft and always settles for jump shots and never lived up to his potential. I hate guys like that. If I had his talent I would try more. I guess that's what happens playing next to Vince Carter for so many years. That being said, yes, Nocioni is a dirty player.

Vinny, Please Don't Fall Into Skiles-esque Habits

Tonight is the season opener for the Bulls. Vinny seems to have decided that Ben Gordon will not start. The likely projected starting lineup tonight is:

PG: Rose
SG: Sefolosha
SF: Deng
PF: Thomas
C: Gooden

Thabo? The guy looked awful all preseason. He can't shoot or dribble. The only thing right now that he has going for him are his long arms. This would seem to move Kirk down to 6th man which would then push Gordon even farther down the bench. I like Hinrich and I think he will have a rebound year (though it will be difficult for him playing out of position as a shooting guard instead of his natural point guard position). I know he may be a better defender and he is definitely more of a favorite among the ownership types. All those things are wonderful, but I don't care. START BEN GORDON! Or at least move him in front of Hinrich on the depth chart to play next to Rose. Kirk is not a shooting guard. Don't fall into Skiles-like habits. Please?! Gordon is the best offensive tool you have right now and will help Rose not have to face triple teams every time he gets the ball.

Another fear of mine is that while Tyrus might start (and there is no guarantee of that), he will be riding the bench in favor of slower, whiter players (see Aaron Gray). Do not further inhibit his development! He needs time to play through his mistakes, not to be punished like an insolent child. (It is unclear that TT is even starting, Gray might get the nod. Gross.)

Here's some advice for tonight Vinny: Take a look across the court at Scott Skiles. He is an angry, crotchety old scrooge. He was driven from the Bulls job just like he was driven from the Phoenix job and just like he'll be driven from the Bucks job. Don't let that be you. Trust the talent you've been given and don't be a dick to your players. They are grown men. Good luck.

Today's Links

• Northwestern running back Tyrell Sutton is out for the season. Big loss for the Wildcats, but Sutton could possibly return for a bowl game.
• Rick Sutcliffe could take Brenly's spot if he takes the job as Brewers manager.
• Blackhawks lose 3-2 to the Minnesota Wild. Would have been cooler if it was the North Stars.
• Bucks cut Adrian Griffin. Oh, so now Skiles cuts him.
• Bears have to decide when to start playing first round tackle Chris Williams. Maybe if the Bears are up big in the second half against Detroit. But I can't imagine that would happen. Ha.
• Game 5 suspended because of rain, tied 2-2 in the sixth inning. It's supposed to rain again tomorrow in Philly, so Selig wants to move it to Milwaukee. Not really.
  

BYU Commits "Miscarriage of Justice" Against Jim McMahon

BYU has denied Jim McMahon entry into its hall of fame and refused to retire his number for over 25 years. He set numerous records and essentially elevated the BYU football program to national prominence. I love the punky QB as much as the next guy, but I'm not going to get my panties in a bunch over this nonsense. He brought Chicago a Super Bowl and we will always love him for it. Apparently the punky QB's punky dad thinks otherwise:

"When he was recruited, the coaching staff assured me and my family that even though he was not a Mormon, he would be treated fairly. Obviously, that was a lie. The university and the Mormon church should be ashamed of themselves for allowing this miscarriage of justice to my son Jim. I can only hope that before I die this miscarriage of justice is corrected and Jim's jersey is retired and he is inducted into your Hall and his name is placed on the ring of honor on your stadium. If this is not done, then you should rename your Hall of Fame the Hall of Shame."

This isn't a really big deal, I just think it's funny that McMahon's dad called his teacher to ask her to change Jim's grade. I thought that kind of thing ended when you turned 18. Not in the McMahon family I guess. Moral of the story? If anyone steps on the field in a BYU number 9 jersey, you have Papa McMahon's permission to chase down the pretender and spit on his justice miscarrying face. There's only one #9 at BYU, bitch.

Famous Actors Masquerading as Chicago Bulls Head Coach

Which one of these men are Bulls Coach Vinny Del Negro? Can't tell? Neither can I. I've also heard suggestions he is a Christian Bale lookalike as well. Personally, I couldn't tell the difference between VDN and John Cusack when I was at the Bulls game Friday night.

The point is that perhaps all the talk that Vinny Del Negro brings no star power to the Chicago Bulls head coaching position was a bit premature, don't you think?

Week Nine Big Ten Wrap-up

Before the season, no one knew who the starting quarterback for Penn State would be. When Anthony Morelli, one of the worst multi-season starters ever, graduated, most knew the job would fall to either Daryll Clark or Pat Devlin. But hardly anyone knew what to expect from either player. Clark won the job early in fall practice and led the Nittany Lions to eight straight wins to start the year. It was Devlin though who led Penn State to its best win of the year. Early in the fourth quarter with Ohio State up three, Terrelle Pryor fumbled and Penn State recovered. In came Devlin, leading Penn State down to the one, where he plunged in for a 10-6 lead. PSU would add a field goal and secure its first win at Ohio Stadium as a member of the Big Ten. Only a major stumble against a lesser opponent can stop Penn State from the conference title and a likely shot at a national championship.

Wisconsin finally tallied in the win column this week as the Badgers beat Illinois in Madison. Dustin Sherer made his first second start at quarterback, throwing for two scores and running for a third. Turnovers hurt the Illini, especially Juice Williams' three interceptions. Wisconsin took a 20-17 lead early in the fourth quarter after one of Juice's interceptions and added an insurance touchdown late.

Michigan State came into Ann Arbor as the favorite on Saturday and lived up to it. The Spartans won 35-21, getting the program's first win in Ann Arbor since 1990 and first against Michigan since 2001. Javon Ringer carried 37 times for 194 yards and two scores. Ringer broke a 21-all tie in the fourth quarter and Brian Hoyer threw his third touchdown pass later to seal the win.

Northwestern overlooked Indiana and paid for it. Indiana had two big scores through the air. One was a play-action fake of a reverse and the other an actual reverse with receiver Mitchell Evans throwing for the touchdown. Even with Kellen Lewis out with an ankle injury, the Wildcats couldn't overcome five turnovers.

Minnesota continued its improbable turnaround with a 17-6 win. That's five straight losses for Purdue and in three of the last four games the Boilermakers have scored six points or less.

Today's Links

• More ripping on Larry Hughes by Tremendous Upside Potential. Give the guy a break already...just kidding, screw him.
• A Cubs fan tells a story about being in Vegas and seeing Pete Rose and Mike Maddux. Pete Rose says some funny stuff.
  
• A funny list of search terms that led people to Luol's Dong. My favorite? "Dangerous creampie". I don't remember the Dong covering that, but who knows I guess.
• Sam Smith is back as a beat writer covering the Bulls. His new employer? The Bulls. I'm sure that will make for some very independent and uncensored reporting. Oh well, at least we'll get to hear his crazy trade ideas again. Remember when he wanted to trade Pippen for Shawn Kemp? Oh Sam.
• Aramis Ramirez wins the Hank Aaron Award for offensive prowess. This was voted on by fans online. I'm not sure what's more retarded; the award itself, or the fact that fans voted for Aramis. Fans should never be allowed to decide anything. That's why Vince Carter starts every all-star game.
• Mike Singletary's post-game press conference. He sends Vernon Davis back to the locker room and just seems overall pissed off.
  

Bye-Week Bears Grab Bag

Since there is no game this week, I've decided to post a list of random Bears facts. I found most of these on the Chicago Bears Official Website. Enjoy:

• Chicago led the league in starting field position last year with their average starting field position at their own 33.7 yard line. Although Hester has not really done anything, the Bears still rank 5th this season with an average starting position at their own 29.3 yard line.


• Prior to last Sunday’s 48-41 win over the Minnesota Vikings, the most points the Bears had allowed in a victory came on Oct. 17, 1965 in a 45-37 win over the Vikings in Minnesota. Last Sunday marked just the third time since that game that the Bears have permitted 33 or more points in a win. They defeated the Miami Dolphins 36-33 in overtime on Oct. 27, 1997 and the Denver Broncos 37-34 in overtime on Nov. 25, 2007.


• The Bears are closing in on 700 wins all time. They are 697-511-42 right now including playoffs. They would be the first team to 700. The Packers are second at 666 wins.


• Kyle Orton is not in consideration for the FedEx Air Player of the Week even though Orton passed for more yards than Trent Edwards and Matt Schaub and more touchdowns than Edwards and Jeff Garcia.

• The Bears have the best record in the NFC North since 2005 at 35-20.


• The last 3 weeks the leading tackler for the Bears has been someone from the secondary. Against the Vikings it was Payne with 9 and Corey Graham with 12 and 10 respectively against the Falcons and Lions. Is this a result of people breaking through to the secondary or are the DBs making tackles against running backs closer to the line of scrimmage? At least for Graham in the Falcons game, 6 of the 12 tackles were on run plays and only two of those 12 were for first down. Jury is still out on whether this is good or bad.


• The last rushing touchdown by a Bears quarterback was on 9/26/04. That touchdown was scored by Rex Grossman and he tore his ACL on the play.
  

StevieY19--College Football Expert or Married,Tigers Hat Wearing Fraud?

StevieY19 went an unprecedented 0-5 in his Big Ten football predictions this week. Wow. I don't think he could have done that throwing darts at a random board to make his picks. He hasn't been this bad in the past, but he hasn't exactly been "accurate" this year. What are this self-anointed expert's qualifications? Let's go over them:

• He was born in Michigan. He didn't attend University of Michigan. However, he was somehow able to identify the people that go to that institution as complete douchebags. How? I have no idea, they all seem like such nice humble people when you first meet them.
• Yet...yet...yet, he is a Wolverines fan.
• I think that he--now don't quote me on this, but--I think that he consults espn and deadspin. How he obtained access to these sources is unclear to me.
• He wears Tigers hats. There is nothing wrong with this on its face. But he has figured out a way to get new Tigers hats all the time, and still have the hats look like they are 5 years old and someone put too much pine tar on them.
• His streak of predicting the Big Ten matchups at a 40% clip was finally broken today.

After consulting that extensive resume of his, it appears I'm mistaken. Carry on with your coverage Mr. S.

Weekend Video Hits

I have no idea why I'm posting these, just a couple old school movies to watch. This first one is a filthy highlight mix of 90s MJ stuff:



This one is the Super Bowl Shuffle. Always a classic:



**UPDATE: Matt R. insists that we add a Pistol Pete montage. Not sure why, but the video is pretty sweet:

Site Reconstruction

As some of you can see, we are working on changing the color scheme and getting a new banner on the top for NQTC. (Something about the pink and puke orange scheme was turning people off for some reason). Thank you to Emily for helping design the banner. It looks great and professional, which will hopefully throw people off the track of the fact that we are not great or professional in any way. We will be screwing around with the look a little bit the next few days so thanks for your patience.

Also any compliments or suggestions about the new layout are encouraged in the comment chain for this story. As you all know, I am a great listener and I really care what you guys think.

Blackhawks Week in Review

It was a slow week for the Hawks, as they only had two games. The Joel Quenneville hiring has gotten off to a great start though. As I said before, I'm not happy with the move, but I think Q'ville will be successful here.

After a loss to St. Louis in his debut in which the Hawks blew a 3-1 lead and lost in a shootout, Quenneville picked up his first two wins as head coach against Vancouver and Edmonton. Ha, Canada.

Against the Canucks, Patrick Sharp tallied two goals and an assist as the Hawks won 4-2. The power play also lurched out of its slumber, going 2 for 5, when it was 2 for 22 coming into the game. Cristobal Huet got the win in goal, making 28 saves, Quenneville's first win was also Huet's first with Chicago.

Wednesday Chicago stopped Edmonton's four game winning streak with a 3-0 win. Khabibulin registered the shutout causing many to question whether he would be the number one guy for Quenneville in net. Q wasn't so sure after the game, saying that Huet and Bulet would share time. Sharing is caring. Patrick Sharp got a goal and an assist, and leads the team in goals (5) and points (10) on the season.

Looking Ahead:

Tomorrow night the Hawks will host the Detroit Red Wings. Huge game early in the season to see where Chicago stacks up. The win against Edmonton was impressive, but a win against the Wings would lend legitimacy to the high hopes for Chicago this season.

ESPN's New Television Lineup

It has definitely been a slow sports week, Bulls still in the pre-season and the Bears are going into a bye week. I know it has affected me in figuring out topics to post about this week and I am sure others have noticed it also.

Well I think it has gotten to ESPN also because it looks like they updated their programming lineup. Thanks to saltymilk.com for this one:

Ben Gordon's Injured Left Toe...I Mean Right Toe...No Wait His Left I Think

Tribune writer K.C. Johnson seems to think Ben Gordon is lying about his injury. Or at least he is mocking the way the injury seems to be jumping from foot to foot:

Also, Ben Gordon didn't practice again. Afterward, his saga took another twist when Gordon revealed he has an injured left big toe as opposed to the injured big right toe that the team has listed in its injury report for weeks.

Shady. K.C. is pretty reliable most of the time, so I assume this means he thinks BG is full of it. With Hughes out he is going to get some major minutes, so he should probably suck it up and play on his "injured" toe, whichever toe that may be.

Today's Links

• Looks like Graham may have replaced Vasher as the starter. Apparently Vasher might not even be hurt anymore.
• Derrick Rose gets three wishes from a genie but the genie dicks him over on the wishes. It's a funny read.
  
• Is Singletary trying to assemble an all-85 Bears coaching staff in Frisco? I'm on board with it.
• Scott Eyre thinks he only had one bad game with the Cubs and that's why he got moved. Ummm, Scott, I think perhaps you're mistaken about how many bad games you had.
• So apparently Brenly is being considered for the Brewers job. Word is, Gracie would replace him in the booth.
  

Your Week Nine Big Ten Preview

Coming into the year this may have looked like the best week of Big Ten football of the season. Now? Not so much, but there are still some intriguing games, including what is without a doubt the game of the year.

Penn State will travel to Ohio State in what will be its biggest test on the way to a 12-0 season. Penn State has not won in Ohio Stadium since joining the Big Ten in 1993. That's a 7-0 mark in favor of OSU. Both quarterbacks will be starting in their first OSU-PSU game and both have passed early season tests. Daryll Clark has led the Nittany Lions to an unblemished record and Terrelle Pryor has shown he is the man to lead Ohio State's offense. Both won games on the road at Wisconsin (not that cool this year) and Pryor picked up another road win last week at MSU. Pryor has been asked to make plays with his legs and not make mistakes with his arm. Penn State will likely sell out against Wells, in an effort to make Pryor win through the air. Other than the QB position Ohio State has the edge in experience and I think this will be a tough one for Penn State to win.

Illinois travels to Wisconsin this week and will try and send the Badgers to 0-5 in the Big Ten. Wisconsin has officially moved Allan Evridge out of the starting spot and given the job to Dustin Sherer. For Illinois the key will be to get up early on the Badgers, much like Iowa did last week and force Sherer to put the ball in the air to come back. Illinois can score with the best of them, but they don't want to get into a grinding ground war with Wisconsin, I don't care what their record is.

Coming off a deflating loss to Ohio State, there is no better game for Michigan State to play next than Michigan. The Spartans should have no trouble getting up for this one, as it represents their best chance to beat the Wolverines in a long time. I think the game comes down to which quarterback will suck less. If Steven Threet is healthy for Michigan, they have a chance. With Threet at the helm, Michigan had a great start to the Penn State game, but as Threet broke down, so did the offense. Michigan's defense will obviously be keying on Ringer, giving Hoyer the chance to make a difference.

Northwestern is at Indiana and Minnesota is at Purdue. Picks?

Picks:

Northwestern 42 - Indiana 14
Minnesota 21 - Purdue 24
Michigan State 21 - Michigan 23
Illinois 38 - Wisconsin 17
Ohio State 24 - Penn State 20

Today's Links

• Cubs looking at Roberts and Crisp. Again.
• God has some 'splaining to do. Your weekly link to KSK.
• NBA Central Division headlines to watch. No Stormin' Norman, Derrick Rose becoming the first rookie inducted into the Hall of Fame is not one of them.
• Rick Morrisey is singing my tune when it comes to Orton.
• Khabibulin gets the shutout, Sharp two points, as the Hawks beat Edmonton. Take that Canada! Hawks are 2-0-1 since Quenney took over.
• Phillies take game one of the World Series, but Tampa fans are starting to understand this "baseball" game.

Larry Hughes Gets Hurt And It Feels So Good

I know this sounds horrible, and I feel guilty even writing it, but did anyone else get a warm fuzzy feeling in their stomach when Hughes went out with a separated shoulder tonight? Its almost like someone (Mike Miller apparently) read my post earlier today and responded to it. I don't want any permanent damage, I just want him to be unable to play until his contract expires or he gets traded.

I know, I'm going to hell.

**UPDATE: Its only a few hours after the game ended, and the blogosphere is being just as cruel as me. I don't feel as bad:

From Blogabull:

I admit, I may have snuck in a pump of the fist when I saw Larry Hughes crumple to the ground. It looked like a separated shoulder, and KC reports that's indeed the diagnosis. I'm not happy that he got himself hurt, but I'm happy he is currently out...if that makes sense.

From Thank You Isiah:

Txt Msg 8:52:22 PM

Coach Skiles to BenGo07: "Please let his shoulder be separated."

Txt Msg 8:53:11 PM

BenGo07 to Coach Skiles: "I was guiltily thinking the same thing."

I'm not proud of it, but there it is. If our obscene desires come true, I'm thinking 6-8 weeks, although the ultimate TYI authority on this type of injury is indisputably Big Sweet.

From Hardwood Paroxysm:

There are times when we're able to put aside our petty differences and really celebrate the good things in life. When we rise above our regional and fanbasic vitriol for one another and truly appreciate a good thing.

And then there are times when we're all guiltily happy that Larry Hughes separates his shoulder.

My reaction doesn't seem so bad now. Hopefully now we can have some time to evaluate which of Gordon and Hinrich we want to keep.

Oh ESPN and Their "Sources"

I'm sure some of you have caught wind of this business about Brett Favre sharing info on the Packer offense with the Detroit Lions. A couple of issues have festered to the point where I couldn't hold back a post anymore.

First, Brett Favre sharing information with the Lions about the Packers. What the hell? Why the Lions? Now there have been reports that it was Matt Millen who called Favre and requested the information (Millen's best move as GM for the Lions), but seriously Brett? When Favre finally left the Packers, only to dominate headlines for what seemed like years when talk of a return started up, I complained plenty about him hogging the spotlight, but it was mainly because I just don't like Favre through my years as a disgruntled Lions fan.

I complained that he was childish and attention-deprived. If this "liongate" business is true, which I tend to believe it is based on Jay Glazer's reputation for always being right, these will be two of the main traits I remember Mr. Favre by forever. Plus, former teammate LeRoy Butler has said that the business with the Lions is only the "tip of the iceberg" when it comes to Brett's torching of bridges on his way out of Green Bay.

Second, how is ESPN ignoring this story? I heard there was a blurb on their ticker this morning, but it has been almost entirely ignored. The network even went as far as to send out a memo warning employees not to report on the story because they have it from "reliable sources" that the story is not true. What are the odds that Favre is the source? Or someone Favre told it wasn't true?

I would like to know how often these memos go out. If Chris Mortenson doesn't get one of these memos every other day, they are underused. Of all the times ESPN has been dead wrong in recent years, it's going to be hilarious when their moment of caution turns out to be on a story that is actually true.

Weekly Fantasy Roundup

The Bad Guy (formerly Waiver Wire Master) is a fantasy sports expert and will be writing a column once a week (Wednesdays or Thursdays) with whatever expertise he feels like giving us. Feel free to rip his garbage picks or praise his good calls. Last week things went a little better, let's see what he's got for us this week. Enjoy!

If You Have The Balls to Bench Your Studs, Don't Start.....

QB Peyton Manning (Colts): Through the first six games of the season, Peyton has a QB rating of 80.0 and a completion percentage of 60.7 - both career lows if you discard his rookie season. Maybe the two offseason knee surgeries he underwent to repair an infected bursa sac are still affecting him, maybe it’s the start of a decline to an incredible NFL career – who knows – all I know is that you should not be starting the former Super Bowl MVP this Sunday at Tennessee. Here’s a stat for you - The Titans have allowed exactly ONE passing TD all season, and none in their previous five games. If that didn’t, suck out all of the optimism you might have had about Manning’s Week 8 match up, then I don’t know what will. DON’T START HIM!

QB Eli Manning (Giants): The youngest Manning brother also has a tough match up this week, as New York travels to Heinz Field to take on the NFL’s #1 ranked pass defense. Pittsburgh’s secondary is allowing a league low 158.7 passing yards per game, and will look to continue their domination against the Giants’ QB. Manning was great in his first four games, but has been borderline horrible the past couple of weeks. He threw three interceptions in Week 6 at Cleveland, struggled again in Week 7 at home against a less than respectable 49ers’ secondary, and should continue being ridiculously bad in Week 8 against Troy Polamalu and the Steelers’ tumultuous D.

RB Larry Johnson (Chiefs): This former fantasy monster has been extremely disappointing so far in 2008, and things don’t seem to be getting any better for Johnson any time soon. LJ was benched in Week 7 by coach Herm Edwards after he was late for team meetings, and now has to go up against the Jets’ 5^th ranked rush D in Week 8. New York is allowing less than 85 rushing yards per game, and less than 65 per game at home. More bad news - there is speculation that the league may get involved and take action against Johnson for his legal troubles. If LJ does indeed get suspended, definitely don’t start either of the KC backup RBs, as they won’t do anything but suck against Kris Jenkins, Shaun Ellis, and the rest of the J-E-T-S defensive line.

RB Marshawn Lynch (Bills): I might be going out on a limb here, but I don’t see Lynch having a good day in Miami this Sunday. The Bills’ RB has struggled away from Ralph Wilson Stadium, rushing for a combined total of 160 yards and one TD in Buffalo’s three road games, an average of just over 50 yards per contest (that’s pretty fucking bad). The Dolphins rush D has improved tremendously this year, allowing only 97.5 rush yards per game compared to over 150 per game last season. Backup RB Fred Jackson has been getting more and more carries every week, stealing nine carries away from him Lynch this past week. All of this does not bode well for the owner of what could be the ugliest player profile picture of all time.

WR Roddy White (Falcons): This future Pro Bowl WR might want to think about changing his last name from White to Gold, as he has been more valuable than 24 karats (pure gold) so far this season. Things are bound to change in Week 8 though, as Mr. White faces a Phili D that has yet to allow a receiving touchdown to a WR at home. Pro Bowl cornerback Asante Samuel will be all over White, who should struggle to get off the line and create separation. The Eagles will frustrate rookie QB Matt Ryan by blitzing the shit out of him, a game plan that will ultimately not allow White enough time to get downfield and put up the stat line that his owners have become accustomed to in recent weeks.

WR Roy Williams (Cowboys): The blockbuster trade that sent Williams to the Cowboys last week was supposed to put them over the top, but there is a reason why you don’t usually hear about superstars switching teams in the middle of a season. It takes time for a player to adjust to a new team and learn the playbook, so don’t expect Williams to do any damage for at least a couple more weeks. QB Brad Johnson looked Williams’ way ONE time last week in St. Louis, which is only one more look than I got in Week 7. The fact that Dallas’ starting quarterback Tony Romo is expected to be out again doesn’t help matters, as it will take that much longer for Williams to develop chemistry with his QB. The Tampa Bay secondary isn’t too shabby either - they have only allowed one passing TD in their past three games.