Chicago Bears Wide Receiver Bonanza

The Chicago Bears have 5 receivers that may make the roster. They might only carry 4, but lets just say they keep 5. Those 5 receivers suck. They are just plain bad. It's almost laughable how bad these guys are. I don't understand how any quarterback can be expected to succeed without anyone to throw the ball too (not to mention not having any real protection on a consistent basis). I guess we have to analyze the 6 guys that have a legit shot at making the squad, but to be honest I hate them all. Whatever, everyone should know their receiving corps, so here it is:

Earl Bennett: Drafted in the third round this year out of Vanderbilt. Well, to be honest, I'm not sure who this guy is. I don't think he has a preseason catch. Is he hurt? I don't know. I have no memory of hearing anything about this guy or even seeing him in uniform. Yeah, apparently he might make the team.

Marty Booker: Ok so we gave this guy a multi-year multi-million dollar contract to....sit? I think Rex threw to him one time on Thursday and I'm pretty sure that ball was picked off. We all remember Booker from a few years back when he led the team in receptions. Booker can be a decent possession guy. He doesn't have great hands or speed, but he was solid. I don't know many 32 year old receivers that were so average in their prime that ended up contributing, but we'll see.

Marc Bradley: Totally unproven, totally raw, totally injury-prone. All that being said, I like this guy the most. He has had flashes in his limited play the last couple years and he can emerge as a good option for Neckbeard if he can stay healthy. He had a couple nice catches in the preseason and looks to be a big factor this year.

Rashied Davis: I thought this guy was more of an underused slot-type guy until Orton hit him for 2 TDs the other night. I don't know how good he is, but if Orton trusts him, he might have a good year. Unlike the Chicago media, I will not drool over this guy just because he had one good preseason game, but he might be decent. Can he be an NFL starter? I can't believe I have to ask that question.

Devin Hester: I love this guy, you love this guy, everyone loves this guy. My favorite thing about him is when some opposing coach says "We'll kick to him". Will they never learn? Anyways, this guy can't run routes, catch or do really anything but be a decoy on offense. It doesn't seem like his playing time with the offense will turn out well, but he's Devin Hester, so who knows? (On another note, I would bet $100 he can't spell his own name, the guy seems straight up retarded)

Brandon Lloyd: Former Illini, made some Sportscenter catches in SF a couple years ago, not very good. I don't think he can emerge as a star, but he might be a decent target for Orton this year. He has good hands so if Orton has time to throw, this guy might be a good target. His best season ever he had 48 catches, and its not like the Bears have that much better of an offense than the other teams hes played for.

Anyways, this receiving corps is a nameless faceless bunch and it seems unlikely they will make a lot of noise this year. Who are these guys? How was this an acceptable thing for the Bears front office to allow to happen? Who knows, but at least Bernard Berrian has turf toe. Enjoy that contract, Minnesota.