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Last fall I heard about an intriguing thing in the NBA, Drew Gooden and DeShawn Stevenson made a bet to see who could go longer without shaving their beards. Well, at the time I didn't really give two shits. In fact, I think I said something like "Wow, those two idiots should pay more attention to their game, instead of making really dumb beard bets." That was in the fall. Then 2 events transpired that caused me to care more: 1) Gooden got traded to the Bulls; and 2) Top Ten nominee decided to start talking shit. Top Ten Nominee then challenged me to a beard bet, which I declined (being that I'm trying to get a job and not get fired, a beard bet seemed like a bad idea). We were, however, able to live out our beard-growing fantasies through the Stevenson-Gooden Beard Death Match though. So we bet $20 on who would win. Anyone who knows me knows I took Gooden because I am a bigger homer than Ron Santo and Hawk Harrelson combined.
Well, about ten months later, the bet was still going. I was talking a lot of shit about how Gooden is the man and he would never shave. I pointed to many of DeShawn's clear character flaws and weaknesses as proof. For instance, remember that time he lost a 3-point shooting contest for $20,000 to Gilbert and he stormed off the court about to cry? Or how about the time he called Lebron overrated? There was now way that this douchebag was going to beat Gooden. Gooden's only real knock against him in this contest, besides his total lack of focus for entire quarters, was possibly his ridiculous pony tail thing.
Oops. Last night I received an email from Top Ten Nominee with a subject line that read "beard bet is OVER". He then proceeded to say, "how much was the bet again?" It's $20. Dick. So I guess the bet is over. Gooden shaved. I'll pay you when I see you, but I'm not happy about it.
As for you Drew Gooden, I've got my eye on you. If I see you, you can be damn sure I'm going to ask you for that $20 bucks back. Oh, and don't be such a pansy next time.
1 comment:
Have you ever actually won a bet? Remember those 20 points I gave you on the Rose Bowl?
In fairness, I thought Gooden was the clear favorite in this contest, based on the fact that he's shown he isn't fazed by looking like an idiot for, you know, his entire life.
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